it is devastating to get those certain memories.
and it is even worse when it is family members who were the abusers. they are the ones who should be most trustworthy, who should be protecting you, who should have your best interests at heart.
you deserve to feel bad about it, grieve the knowledge of the tragedy and the trauma, and to let the poison out. write, chat, vent, whatever you can to process and communicate your hurt and anger. if you can get support from a T - by all means,go for it.
just dont give up.
We are often troubled, but not crushed;
sometimes in doubt, but never in despair;
there are many enemies, but we are never without a friend;
and though badly hurt at times, we are not destroyed.
- Paul, II Cor 4:8-9