I am working through dealing with feelings about the effects of my CSA, my kids, my ex and my new relationship and one thing keeps rearing its ugly head
I suck at taking criticism
So I realized after talking to my friend the minister and my T that I don't and can't hear what others have to say when i get instantly defensive cuz i take it personally and catastrophize the shit out of it.
I have to accept that you cannot learn anything new without making mistakes. That has nothing to do with me personally - it's all about how the brain works.
So my new tac is to ask myself "like my abuser is this person deliberately trying to hurt me." If the answer is no ( its almost always no) , then i have the need, want , obligation and power to stay in the moment and not put up the walls or start firing back with attack cannons blazing.
What has worked for you? I think this is a key because survivors have so much to hide and protect I think we tend to let this coping mechanism push into other parts of our life.
"Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a man's growth without destroying his roots."
- Frank A. Clark
The need for love lies at the very foundation of human existence. Dalai Lama
WoR Barrie 2011