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#454335 - 11/18/13 05:46 PM The Long and Winding Road
synonymous Offline


Registered: 09/14/13
Posts: 2
Loc: USA
Hmm... Where to begin? I have recently moved to the Northwest region of the U.S. about a month ago with my lovely girlfriend of over two and a half years. I am originally from the Northeast. I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. In short, I have endured a lot of ebbs and flows in my life; however, the last year may be the toughest roller coaster ride yet. I feel utterly useless and helpless. I have no ambitions or desires. I do not have a clue as to who I am or what I am feeling on a daily basis. In essence, I am a lost soul trying to navigate the ruffled waters of distraction to recovery. I am new to Malesurvivor. This makes me very uncomfortable, as I am not one to talk about my feelings, emotions or thoughts. But I am willing to give it a try. Feel free to reach out to me or offer some helpful suggestions.

Thank you,
synonymous
_________________________
Today is a new day. Hiding from your history only shackles you to it. We can't undo a single thing we have ever done, but we can make decisions today that propel us to the life we want and towards the healing we need. -Steve Maraboli

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#454338 - 11/18/13 06:02 PM Re: The Long and Winding Road [Re: synonymous]
Frustrated Offline


Registered: 10/28/13
Posts: 192
Welcome. I am from the northeast also LSD if you know what that means. I feel a lot of the same emotions you do. I am not one to talk about things either. I was sexually abused as a child also. I know what your going through but I do not have an answer for you but on here there are a plethora of people who have answers and can help in one way or another. Glad to see you take the first step on hear. Good luck.


James

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#454340 - 11/18/13 06:07 PM Re: The Long and Winding Road [Re: synonymous]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3601
Loc: O Kanada
so glad you have begun.
you will find thousands of people sharing here.

you may not like everything you read,
but there will be many words of wisdom and comfort in the weeds.

just keep searching.

welcome to ms.org.

feel free to contact me anytime.

you are the captain of your ship.
whether you seek the comfort of safe harbour, or the adrenaline adventures of open sea and the excitement of exotic ports, stay alert and cautious while navigating the tricky currents, narrow channels, treacherous waters and rocky shores of CSA recovery.

_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#454415 - 11/19/13 07:30 AM Re: The Long and Winding Road [Re: synonymous]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1600
Loc: New England
Welcome Synonymous,

Your feelings are oh so familiar to many of us here. When I first got to MS someone told me that "CSA happens in secret but healing happens out loud". I have found that to be the case. I hope you will also.


Jude
_________________________
Seems I've got to have a change of scene
Every night I have the strangest dreams
Imprisoned by the way it could have been
Left here on my own or so it seems
I've got to leave before I start to scream
Joe Cocker

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#454438 - 11/19/13 10:55 AM Re: The Long and Winding Road [Re: synonymous]
synonymous Offline


Registered: 09/14/13
Posts: 2
Loc: USA
I would like to individually thank the three of you for responding!

James,
All I can think of is Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds haha. Thank you for responding and although I shouldn't say I'm glad my story resonates with yours, it is nice to know that there are others who understand how I feel. I learned a long time ago to numb my feelings to the point that I don't do anything at all. I'm trying to change. I wish you the best of luck in your recovery; keep in touch!

Victim-Victor,

I love your name and the reason behind it; I find it inspiring. I'm looking forward to reading more of your posts. Also, great job running with my simile. That put a smile on my face! Instead of numbing and ignoring, I need to continue searching.

Jude,

I never really thought about CSA and healing in that way. That's an interesting dynamic and it's one that I am going to think about a lot.
_________________________
Today is a new day. Hiding from your history only shackles you to it. We can't undo a single thing we have ever done, but we can make decisions today that propel us to the life we want and towards the healing we need. -Steve Maraboli

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