Newest Members
Lumpy, squeekinby, rhyoung, Jefferson22, OxfordArms
12369 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
freddie (65), Max10 (56), Medos (46), PJinLB (47), TheWookinizer (27), tofeno (40)
Who's Online
2 registered (Cthulhu, 1 invisible), 13 Guests and 6 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12369 Members
74 Forums
63578 Topics
444190 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 3 of 3 < 1 2 3
Topic Options
#415141 - 11/02/12 07:27 PM Re: Forgiving Your Abuser??? [Re: M. J. Stewart]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
Wow. Two excellent points. Jwmcd2 mentions one I'd somehow forgotten. I mean, what is the big friggin' deal about making an apology? Is it gonna kill you? Or are you too good to make one? Either way, that's not the kind of person I want to be around. Frankly, I toss those kinds aside and they usually don't even notice.

Blue, for me, hits the nail on the head. For me, the whole la-te-da (gawd, did I really say that?) forgiveness crap is to sell books and make sheeple.

Closest I've come, and likely ever will, is that I understand the dynamics at work so I could understand my place in it. But those people are dead to me because I can devote my limited resources to someone more important.

Top
#454210 - 11/18/13 06:34 AM Re: Forgiving Your Abuser??? [Re: Shyshark]
une.vie.d.espoir Offline


Registered: 12/06/10
Posts: 106
Loc: Quebec-Canada
I would like to share something. I never got angry since i was abuse 55 years ago. I was a soft heart boy and took all the anger deep in my heart and on my shoulders. Life introduce me to a therapist and he made me work on my anger. Now today i know that anger is good to be use, its only to say i have limits and want to stand by them.

I like crying under the rain, because no one knows I hurt.

Jp

Top
#454341 - 11/18/13 06:26 PM Re: Forgiving Your Abuser??? [Re: M. J. Stewart]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3342
Loc: O Kanada
i have already dealt with this forgiveness issue in my own life.
you can read about it here.
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthr...2551#Post432551

for me,
to forgive does NOT mean
to forget, pardon, condone, accept, permit, or excuse the abuse.
to forgive does NOT mean
the abuser escapes judgement or consequences or punishment for his crimes and sins.

to me, forgiveness means i no longer hate the abuser.

if permanent removal of the abuser is required to prevent further abuse, to protect children,
then those actions must be taken, but they should be done without malice or vengeance to avoid corruption of one's own soul.

"You can't hold a man down without staying down with him."
- Booker T. Washington
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

Top
Page 3 of 3 < 1 2 3


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.