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#454278 - 11/18/13 01:10 PM hi
kevin308 Offline


Registered: 06/12/12
Posts: 8
Loc: columbus, ohio
My name is Kevin. I'm scared to death to be on here in the first place. I trust no one and have been betrayed so many times, that iv'e lost count. I don't know what to say, or what to do. I'm afraid iv'e already said too much. I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. I hope I can find some trustworthy people on here.

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#454281 - 11/18/13 02:00 PM Re: hi [Re: kevin308]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3339
Loc: O Kanada
do not be afraid.
i was scared when i first signed on here ten years ago.

trust, is another topic altogether.

trust must be carefully invested,
and only after careful investigation.
like respect, trust must be incrementally earned, over time.

the people on this website are only people,
survivors like yourself.
mistakes will be made.
feelings will get hurt.
healing will happen.
progress will occur.
please try to be patient and gentle with others.
protect your inner child at all times.

meanwhile, learn to assert and express your opinion,
or take your time to study and absorb what has been already shared, as and when you feel it is necessary to do so.

when it gets too heavy, take a break, as long as you need.

this site will help, but there is no miracle cure.

if you are just starting out,
you need to take it slow,
pace yourself, be patient,
because you have a long way to go.

good news...
the road to recovery ahead may be rocky,
but the worst part is already behind you.
stay focused, get a good compass, and enjoy the journey of self discovery.
this may be foreign territory,
and as you draw your map,
you will find that you are quite a beautiful person.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#454289 - 11/18/13 02:32 PM Re: hi [Re: kevin308]
BuffaloCO Offline


Registered: 07/14/12
Posts: 422
Loc: USA
Hi Kevin, taking that first step is tough but you did it. You can find support and friends here. We all have different stories but we understand the hurts as those are shared and common. I totally get feeling betrayed and understand trust issues too. Some here were abused as kids, some as adults, but people here try to understand and support each other through this stuff. Since coming here just over a year ago, I got back into therapy or "T" and that's been huge. I can talk to some here that I've connected with, sort out all the issues with them and it helps me to keep moving forward. I am so much father along now then when I first came in, so progress definitely is possible. Welcome to the site Brother. You've found a good place.
_________________________
“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark. The real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” - Plato

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#454303 - 11/18/13 03:08 PM Re: hi [Re: BuffaloCO]
kevin308 Offline


Registered: 06/12/12
Posts: 8
Loc: columbus, ohio
Thank you, I look forward to moving forward.

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#454307 - 11/18/13 03:20 PM Re: hi [Re: kevin308]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3339
Loc: O Kanada
let the exploration and adventure begin.
YOU are the journey... and the destination.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#454308 - 11/18/13 03:22 PM Re: hi [Re: kevin308]
don64 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/13
Posts: 684
Loc: St. Croix, USVI
Hi Kevin,

Breaking the taboo of secrecy is a big deal. I have had my throat actually choke off physically when some of my stuff came up--my old inner programs trying to keep me from spilling the beans. But, I'm talking. So, I understand just how scary it can be to begin talking. Lots of folks here, so I'm sure you'll find good company to walk with you through this process. Just know that you are not alone.

Welcome,

Don
_________________________
Divine Law is not judgment or denial of self truths. Divine Law is honoring harmony that comes from a peaceful mind, an open heart, a true tongue, a light step, a forgiving nature, and a love of all living creatures. Jamie Sams & David Carson, Medicine Cards

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#454316 - 11/18/13 04:21 PM Re: hi [Re: kevin308]
Cthulhu Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/13/13
Posts: 138
Loc: Cascadia
Hello Kevin,

It's okay that you're scared - normal actually. Let yourself slowly get used this space and slowly build relationships. But keep pushing yourself, like you did to post your welcome message. Good things will happen. This site is an amazing tool for you to use - please use it. Once you can get things out, once it is no longer a secret everything, your body and mind, can feel so much more free.

Healing hurts, it does, but it is worth it. I promise.

And like others have said, this is a big first step. Let yourself feel pride at making it! You are amazing just for that. I don't say that in some pedantic way. Way too many people are unable to make the step you just made.

So Kevin, I am sorry that you belong here, I really am. But congratulation on the step you just made, welcome to MS, and I wish you the best of luck in navigating the site and your life through the process of recovery.

Feel free to drop me a private message if you ever want.,


-Cthulhu


Edited by Cthulhu (01/03/14 08:45 PM)
_________________________
“what matters most is how well you walk through the fire”
-Charles Bukowski

some context

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#454414 - 11/19/13 07:27 AM Re: hi [Re: kevin308]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1527
Loc: New England
Welcome kevin,

Your fears of betrayal are natural. What else do we know from? But you can overcome distrust by being honest and vulnerable. Take a chance on us. We know where you're coming from.

Jude
_________________________
Well, I won't back down
No I won't back down
You can stand me up at the gates of hell
But I won't back down.
Tom Petty

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#454468 - 11/19/13 05:35 PM Re: hi [Re: kevin308]
George Offline
Member

Registered: 01/29/01
Posts: 120
Loc: NY metro
Welcome Kevin,

Safe place here. Feel free to jump in when ever you want or to just hang back...

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#454625 - 11/21/13 08:36 AM Re: hi [Re: don64]
kevin308 Offline


Registered: 06/12/12
Posts: 8
Loc: columbus, ohio
I agree, breaking the silence is key. I only made my feelings known about 5 years ago. No one wanted to hear it, though it's so obvious how inappropriate my brothers behavior is. I just wish that one person in my family would give me some credence instead of just ignoring everything.

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