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#443182 - 08/03/13 10:24 PM ! [Re: Jude]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
!


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (02/28/14 09:14 PM)

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#443183 - 08/03/13 10:25 PM ! [Re: SoccerStar]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
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Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (02/28/14 09:14 PM)

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#453697 - 11/14/13 10:50 PM Re: How did you feel when you saw a bigger penis? [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
gettingstronger Offline


Registered: 09/24/13
Posts: 145
Loc: Virginia
Interesting posts, guys. I used to feel envious of those who had larger ones, but now I've discovered how to be happy with what I have. My size, you wonder? Larger than some, smaller than others. And I like it that way. smile

Bob


Edited by gettingstronger (11/14/13 10:51 PM)

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#453729 - 11/15/13 06:14 AM Re: How did you feel when you saw a bigger penis? [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
On The Fringe Offline


Registered: 09/21/13
Posts: 326
Loc: Southeast USA
Before I learned how to use it I was worried about size.

It is a connection device. In kidding with women about toys, they all said they prefer a man, the physicality, the connection.

Being average or even close to average is enough size to do the job.

No reason to feel inadequate really. Our bodies were misused, and we were victims. It made me think incorrectly about many things. Time and patience with myself has helped to attempt to correctly see things.

The opinions of women have greatly helped me put that issue to bed.

Make the connection. That is the real purpose.

Best wishes with getting things sorted.
_________________________
I feel more like I do now than I did when I got here.

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#453769 - 11/15/13 12:26 PM Re: How did you feel when you saw a bigger penis? [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
George Offline
Member

Registered: 01/29/01
Posts: 120
Loc: NY metro
I'm sure I saw my fathers first in a changing room at the beach, I must've have been awed at the difference, but not changed in any way by the experience. Later after the abuse by my uncle started in, that's where the feelings of broken or lack of masculinity, not measuring up to boyhood or manhood, feeling like a freak came into play. For decades I constantly measured my self worth & masculinity against others and forever came up short. Yes, I had penis envy too because all that. I'm average btw, but always saw myself as smaller, being a late bloomer didn't help things, even though I wasn't the latest bloomer. The SSA & acting out I did back then was due to all that mess locked up in my head. I came to realize the SSA / acting out was never about love, honor or respect with other men, it was pure conquering, feeding my need to be stronger & better than them, to make me *feel* better all the while putting another knife in my heart at the same time. After dealing with all that mess, the penis envy is gone, I don't have to have a bigger one or conquer one to feel confident in my own masculinity anymore. I still do fall back into measuring my overall accomplishments in life against others, I hate that. I have accomplished way more than most kids I grew up with that dealt with a lot less crap than I did, I have to remind myself of that fact. Old habits die hard.

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#453770 - 11/15/13 12:27 PM Re: How did you feel when you saw a bigger penis? [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
jas4159 Offline


Registered: 06/16/11
Posts: 278
This is an interesting question. When i first saw a larger penis ( mine is average) i thought I was inadaquate. But only for a short time. In reality, a bigger penis does not make you a better lover. There is far more to sex than penis size. But it was a little of a set back.

rich

justanothersurvivror.wordpress.com.
_________________________
Thanks

rich

justanothersurvivror.wordpress.com

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#453823 - 11/15/13 05:14 PM Re: How did you feel when you saw a bigger penis? [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3007
Loc: O Kanada
my immediate reaction was awe.
then i became jealous.
then i became ashamed of my own and hid it from view for a very long time until i finally got over it.
i could hardly wait for puberty to arrive,
so i could get a real one.
in my case, i had to wait until i was sixteen.
i was a late bloomer.
once i decided that i was "big" enough, i lost all inhibition.
that did not happen until my mid twenties.
my concern over size completely disappeared during that period of promiscuity and decadence.
in fact, at that point, i went to the opposite extreme, and became a nudist for some years and even an art school model (great job).
that part of my life is over.

i did not have access to pornography,
so i was never confronted with the unrealistic cross section represented.

ultimately, penis size was important to me for about ten years.

since about 1985, it does not even enter my mind,
and does not interfere.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#453928 - 11/16/13 01:39 AM Re: How did you feel when you saw a bigger penis? [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
tbkkfile Online   content


Registered: 09/16/13
Posts: 139
Loc: Surrey, United Kingdom
The first penis that I saw was erect and was my perps, I didn't even know you could get an erection, its the one freeze frame that I can still see, I wish that I couldnt
_________________________
Go back?" he thought. "No good at all! Go sideways? Impossible! Go forward? Only thing to do! On we go!" So up he got, and trotted along with his little sword held in front of him and one hand feeling the wall, and his heart all of a patter and a pitter

J.R.R.Tolkien, The Hobbit

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#454048 - 11/16/13 05:33 PM Re: How did you feel when you saw a bigger penis? [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
lapchinj Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1166
Loc: New York
Originally Posted By: traveler
i was an early bloomer who was full-sized and developed in that area at only 11 years old, though having an average body size. i was far ahead of my peers and didn't really think much of it until they discovered that fact. suddenly i was a freak show and had no peace or privacy but was on display whenever they could get to me - in sufficient numbers and out of earshot of adults. i was a novelty and toy and the surrogate for what they wished they had but didn't yet. it was so ironic - they envied my larger size and hairiness and sekual development - while i envied their "normalcy" - small, smooth and immature. i am probly in a tiny minority of guys who were abused by peers who were far less physically mature than myself.


Originally Posted By: Jude
Traveler...your experience was alot like mine. I was also an early bloomer. In 6th grade they started making us take showers after gym class, so everybody saw everybody else naked. I remember how weird it was to be only one of two boys who had pubic hair and a more developed penis. I was teased and made fun of. It was not at all something to be "proud of". Strange how things turned around and eventually the boys who were late developing, were the ones being teased. None of us knew what it all meant, but a guys penis was always an object of scorn or ridicule back then.

Hey Lee & jude

I remember in camp for the two weeks I was there when I was 10 there was a kid in the bunk who had bigger privates that were also hairy. Like you two were bullied this kid was also. I never understood why but I knew it had something to do with his privates. I remember him getting beat up also after coming out of the shower one day after swimming. The head counselor took each one of us aside to find out what happened. I told who was in on the beating and in general what was going on in the bunk with this kid. There were many of us who played with him but there were 2 or three bullies that always picked on him. I was there only two weeks so I don't know what happened in the long run. I really felt sorry for that kid and we usually came forward to help him but once they started on him all we could do is go for a counselor.

But then it was my turn where I had developed pretty much by 15 but had no body hair at all. I was bullied in high school by the seniors but I that was primarily because they knew I was faggot. But not having hair got me the name of girly. I don't know if I was pushed around because they didn't like faggots or I was girly or both. One thing is interesting is that if you were developed too early you got bullied, if you developed too late you got bullied, but if you were a prostitute being pimped out like me then no hair was a ticket to one's longevity on earth.

Peace, Rainbows, Love, Healing & Hope
<3 XOXO
Jeff
_________________________
Depression Feels Like Home, and Happiness is Just a Place I Visit

It will get better....

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#454058 - 11/16/13 08:42 PM Re: How did you feel when you saw a bigger penis? [Re: TheBobcatAgain]
Ever-fixed Mark Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/02/10
Posts: 725
Loc: United States
Bobcat,

On the Fringe's response really resonated with me. I've never had a specific thing about penis size, although I was always the smallest and youngest all the way through school. <insert standard bullying scenarios here>

*** I'm going to talk about sex explicitly, but factually, so this might be triggering for some ***

I've been spending some time listening to the Savage Lovecast (a podcast done by Sex advice columnist Dan Savage) over the last few months. I've been educating myself and working to remove my misconceptions and allay my fears. One of the things I've learned from real people talking about their experiences of sex is that guys with big dicks can be lazy, terrible, or inconsiderate lovers - just like anybody else. The other thing I've learned, is that guys with average sized dicks tend to try harder to give pleasure to their partners. In some recent shows women have talked about preferring average sized men to bigger men because they try harder!

For straight guys, this is a plus because 75% of women can't orgasm from vaginal stimulation alone. Most women need direct clitoral stimulation and, when it comes to that, straight men are all on pretty even ground. For gay guys, this is also a plus because - for a start - there is lots two guys can do where dick size doesn't matter at all. It's also a plus because "sport-sized" dicks are an all-access pass for anal sex (where bigger ones can't fit) and average sized dicks can all reach the prostate just fine.

What I heard men and women talking about was what On the Fringe was talking about. Connection, being considerate, and paying attention to your partner. I understand how seeing and knowing there are bigger dicks than ours out there can trigger shame and inferiority in specific situations. It makes me feel better, though, knowing that us average guys have as much chance of pleasing our partners in bed than better endowed men.

-efm
_________________________

Everybody here's got a story to tell
Everybody's been through their own hell
There's nothing too special about getting hurt
Getting over it, that takes the work

- "Duck and Cover" by Glen Phillips

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