When I returned from Cape Cod at 14, (see video if you don';t know what happened) I was entering my sophomore year in H.S. I thought I was going to be able to witness to my classmates and have great reactions and conversions.
Why did I hope to show them a path to salvation? Because the lives led in that town and in that school were absolutely horrid. Drugs were in nearly every kid's pocket. Pre-marital sex and abortion was an assumed factor of life.
I was too naive at the time to realize that every soul needs salvation; the "good," the "bad," the lost and lonely, the happy, rich and poor - they were the ones who needed 'salvation.' I still hear in churches and bible studies, to this day, adults saying "oh boy...Jim really needs the Lord."
Wrong! Everyone needs the Lord. Everyone needs to NOT go to hell as a fallen child of God. Everyone needs a chance to ask for salvation.
I had to really, really try to give atheism a chance. I had to try and see the academic arguments. I really wanted to be relieved of my personal accountability. I wanted to be "worthy" of Heaven and to be a friend of Jesus, not an inhibitor of his way, but I wanted a much easier path. I could have done with less bullying. Less sexual nightmares and twisted cravings. I thought giving that atheist thing a chance would be a good idea. I wanted to hang with the bad-boys and still thump my bible.
The more I looked at the atheist angle of the world and life, the more I saw God's hand at word. The miracles of life, space, earth...what I saw in a microscope and the fact that I could feel like my own life-form with the ability to make my own choices - good or bad. I could find no other explanation to what I was discovering. I was not in awe of a random occasion of beauty or endless intricacy of happenstance. I was in awe of His work.
When I discovered that boastful atheistic scientists could not truly explain gravity, origins of actual life and have nothing more than a guess at the "big bang," I did myself a favor. I gave up the dance of finding "yeah but" detours of logic in order to accommodate stuff that did not jibe with my reality. I gave up compromising beliefs and discovering that in my opinion, atheism was in fact a religion in and of itself, yet there was no unification or mutually agreed upon doctrine.
I have discovered that if a person is true and fully honest with him/herself, all they need to do is open their eyes. If they see God's hand at work (weather its being perverted or praised), they have an internal admission of God's existence. If they open their eyes and don't see God, and instead continue to seek alternate explanations for everything before them...they are not likely to ever see Him...so i drop the issue.
And think about this: Why do evil people crave and destroy and seek to devour little children? Its because the little children are THE image of God.
Now, given that; who or what would seek to devour souls, rape a child and defile such an angel?
My fault? How's this my fault? [Dean Vernon Wormer, 1978]