I totally get where you are coming from. I get in that numbed out and detached space all the time. I feel a bit lost and disoriented. I'm wondering if you aren't just unconsciously taking a breather. You have been doing so much good work over the past few months. It is not like you have been sitting idle. You have been doing hard work on your CSA issues, attending to your family and their needs, attending the WOR. That is necessary, but exhausting work. Maybe you just need a bit of break. You cannot just drive a car nonstop with the pedal pushed down full throttle. You have to stop for gas, and let the engine cool down.
Guys are very results-oriented. When there is nothing going on, or there is any deviation in the plan that is established in our heads, we get anxious and feel like we are not being active. I get this way all the time. I think my recovery should go one way, along the lines I have plotted, and it turns another way seemingly of its own accord. It can be problematic to a more solution-oriented approach to say the least.
I am glad to hear you are spending your time reading poetry. It really takes you to a different head space. So much can be said with minimal phrasing. It doesn't follow obvious patterns. Neither does the progress as we move along the path to healing ourselves. It is full of dips, turns, climbs, and dives. But also it is full of line drives and plateaus where the simple act of living has a flatness that may seem like inactivity or inaction, when in fact it is still getting us somewhere. I am inclined to think that you are merely at a pit stop for your next big climb.
You are already taking actions that once you had used for isolation and firmly planting yourself among others. That in itself is a very active response to past behaviors that were not serving you well. I think with a little patience, this lull period, this waiting, will be well worth it and you will be on your way again.
"Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds."