HD001

I thank God that I didn't have kids before I started dealing with the past s/a, I would've been the coldest, dis-attached father known to man, maybe worse...

I had 4 years of working through the s/a under my belt before we had kids. Not that it took 4 years to be ready, I think the bulk of the healing for me was the first six months for the major breakthroughs.

My kids are the age now that I was & past when the s/a happened to me between 8-12. No problems there & like Invictus said, seeing their innocence allows you to see how it should've been for me. My kids are hugged, kissed & told they are loved everyday by both of us. We have a great relationship with them, even my brother has told me that he wished that he was one of our kids, heck I was I was one of my kids. Are we over protective? sure, you bet your ass. I do trust ones who can be trusted to watch them, they are few, but we didn't have kids for others to raise either.

We decided to homeschool after a few years of public school. Our oldest had speech issues and we didn't like how the school handled things, also a couple of kids that were his friends early on were then making fun of him. At 10 kids start noticing differences and start to pick on each other. So we pulled them out and haven't looked back, none of them want to go back, either. We belong to a very large homeschool group that weekly gets together, so plenty of socializing there, church & other family & clubs.

If anything, having kids has been the biggest blessing to our lives as a couple. We were older parents, the first one was born when we were 35, we were older, wiser & better off financially by then. More importantly, I had gotten a handle on my own issues, for the most part.