Newest Members
JohnWC, KKumar, J44, Anura, reynel5
12420 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
almostdonew/life (39), barelysurviving (45), bigbob20 (69), billyp (65), Shawv (70), TheTwoOfUs (43)
Who's Online
6 registered (Rich1967, lukehorace, tbkkfile, 3 invisible), 27 Guests and 6 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12420 Members
74 Forums
63773 Topics
445349 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 2 of 2 < 1 2
Topic Options
#453681 - 11/14/13 08:43 PM Re: Emotions [Re: unhappycamper]
flightmedic38 Offline


Registered: 09/13/13
Posts: 78
Loc: Kansas
You nailed it. Tears coming from an unknown place. Which is scary for someone who never cries. Hope I get it under control soon. Thank you so much for responding I feel very alone....


Davis
_________________________
Either get to living or get to dying!!!!! Shawshank redemption

Top
#453690 - 11/14/13 10:06 PM Re: Emotions [Re: flightmedic38]
Hartdaddy Offline


Registered: 10/18/13
Posts: 13
Flight
Hang in there and let them flow, not being able to cry is far worse. We are alone only when we choose to be.

Dave

Top
#453704 - 11/14/13 11:36 PM Re: Emotions [Re: flightmedic38]
SayItRight Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/06/13
Posts: 67
Flight,
Just have to say thanks for this post. Saw it for the first time only now. Similar thing has been going on for me; sometimes I think I know why, other times no idea. In any case, it helped me out to see it here and I really appreciate it.

Top
#453705 - 11/14/13 11:43 PM Re: Emotions [Re: flightmedic38]
Frustrated Offline


Registered: 10/28/13
Posts: 192
Man you are not alone I can be just having a regular day and from out of nowhere this over whelming urge to cry. Have on idea where or why it comes. I just think it's another side effect from the csa. I hope it gets getter as I move on.

James

Top
#453713 - 11/15/13 12:41 AM Re: Emotions [Re: flightmedic38]
don64 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/13
Posts: 721
Loc: St. Croix, USVI
Hey Guys,

I have had success with focusing on my feelings, and focusing on my body-if I am having any body sensations, and just recently I have been able to focus on following the feelings back to the main event. This is a tremendous breakthrough for me because the real damage was done to me 0-3 1/2. The breakthrough just occurred yesterday, and I was able to follow an awareness I have had for years-that I was beaten with a rolled up newspaper or magazine on the head, face, and ears probably as soon as I began to walk. For me this major because the most major damage to me was precognitive. What came out of this for me was an understanding of the psychic damage this did to me. I was so traumatized by these beatings that a piece of me just vanished. And, the piece that vanished was the ability to feel whether or not I am comfortable. So, a lifetime of recreating the abusive relationship with my parents was set in motion--not the sexual abuse but the psychological abuse. And the only way I could sustain these 64 years of psychological abuse was to not feel. I have been working on this for 11 years, and it feels like I have grown enough to be able to hold my early damaged self in consciousness and take language and understanding back to that place, feel it again with language and understanding and grow that place and integrate. This is new, but it feels right. I have had the experience for years of being able to focus on non-specific emotions/body issues and move back to a clearer understanding of what underpins the nonspecific symptom. It was only yesterday that I learned to follow it back to the original event.

I don't imagine this is something to do on the run, but I do imagine it is something that can be saved for when you have quiet and privacy and time. It needn't be scary, and my suspicion is that relief, release, understanding and clearing is the outcome of taking the time and energy to follow the "tears" in this case back to an original event or at least a better understanding of the feelings underpinning the event (tears). For me, there is profound sadness on the other side of my following my knowledge of these beatings back to the original event. The sadness does not feel scary or crazy. It's just loss, and it is real.

CSA and ASA do real damage to the feeling process, and it seems that recapturing the feeling process is an important part of the way out.

Sending you all warmth and gentleness,

Don
_________________________
Divine Law is not judgment or denial of self truths. Divine Law is honoring harmony that comes from a peaceful mind, an open heart, a true tongue, a light step, a forgiving nature, and a love of all living creatures. Jamie Sams & David Carson, Medicine Cards

Top
#453714 - 11/15/13 12:45 AM Re: Emotions [Re: flightmedic38]
Dave PNW Offline


Registered: 04/03/13
Posts: 115
Loc: Pacific Northwest
Hey Flight Medic. I know this feels unstable and out of control. The tears are scary. The last six months for me was the first time I really cried in over 40 years as I let out all this unprocessed emotion. It wasn't really like I was consciously venting it... it just came out. It hurt. It made me feel weak. But it made me feel human too. I wondered some days if this was going to be my new normal. If every day was going to be this way. But eventually I stabilized. You will too. Ride it out. It's hard I know. But it is part of the healing. Keep talking and posting. We are here with you.

Top
#453765 - 11/15/13 11:59 AM Re: Emotions [Re: flightmedic38]
flightmedic38 Offline


Registered: 09/13/13
Posts: 78
Loc: Kansas


Flight


Edited by flightmedic38 (10/05/14 01:59 AM)
_________________________
Either get to living or get to dying!!!!! Shawshank redemption

Top
Page 2 of 2 < 1 2


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.