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#453360 - 11/12/13 02:02 PM If he apologized, would you forgive? Could you?
Chase Eric Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 2014
...


Edited by Chase Eric (11/21/13 11:05 AM)
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#453361 - 11/12/13 02:06 PM Re: If he apologized, would you forgive? Could you? [Re: Chase Eric]
BuffaloCO Offline


Registered: 07/14/12
Posts: 480
Loc: USA
I forgave them, and for me that meant I let go of all the anger I carried around. In my belief system, forgiving them does not let them off the hook. It lets me off the hook.
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“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark. The real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” - Plato

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#453363 - 11/12/13 02:10 PM Re: If he apologized, would you forgive? Could you? [Re: BuffaloCO]
Chase Eric Offline
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MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 2014
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Edited by Chase Eric (11/21/13 11:04 AM)
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#453364 - 11/12/13 02:10 PM Re: If he apologized, would you forgive? Could you? [Re: Chase Eric]
Obi Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1570
Loc: kansas
Depends on how truly repentant the person is. If the person apologizes, does everything he/she can do to right the wrong, then I would forgive that person.

however, if there is no true repentance on the part of the abuser, then I would probably say no.
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#453370 - 11/12/13 02:34 PM Re: If he apologized, would you forgive? Could you? [Re: Chase Eric]
concerned_husky Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/29/12
Posts: 702
.


Edited by concerned_husky (08/31/15 12:51 PM)
Edit Reason: Reducing ties with MS.

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#453374 - 11/12/13 02:58 PM Re: If he apologized, would you forgive? Could you? [Re: Chase Eric]
SoccerStar Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 925
Loc: New York
It is pertinent to remember that Matobo, the Ku, and their drowning forgiveness ritual, are all fiction. A scriptwriter liked the narrative and made it up - thinking it sounded like something that would help. In real life? I doubt that anyone willing to drown a criminal would then be emotionally capable of - or honest in - mourning him for a year. Revenge is revenge.

In many cases, survivors can forgive not because the perps deserve forgiveness but rather because the survivor themself deserves to go through the forgiveness process, deserves to feel forgiveness and let go of anger, bitterness, and hate.

I am not one of those survivors. I am an extremely unforgiving person in ANY circumstance. It is a character flaw but it's me. If the man who abused me were to apologize, earnestly, tearfully, publicly, in horror and shame, I would accept his apology and it might even make me feel better. But I would never - WILL NEVER - forgive him while he is alive. Once he is dead I will explore it.


Matt
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My story

"Don't think it hasn't been a little slice of Heaven just because it hasn't!" --Bugs Bunny

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#453377 - 11/12/13 03:04 PM Re: If he apologized, would you forgive? Could you? [Re: Chase Eric]
DavoSwim Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/06/13
Posts: 370
Loc: Iowa, USA
Eirik,

I would forgive my abusers. The act of doing so would free me from anger. It would enable me to live my life free from anxiety, insomnia and wishing ill well upon my abuser. It would not mean that I would forget what was done from him and it wouldn't absolve him from his action, nor would it waive the need for restitution. Forgiveness is something I would do for myself. I would leave it up to God in heaven to decide this eternal future.

Dave

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#453378 - 11/12/13 03:11 PM Re: If he apologized, would you forgive? Could you? [Re: concerned_husky]
Chase Eric Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 2014
...


Edited by Chase Eric (11/21/13 11:02 AM)
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#453383 - 11/12/13 03:51 PM Re: If he apologized, would you forgive? Could you? [Re: SoccerStar]
Chase Eric Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/25/10
Posts: 2014
...


Edited by Chase Eric (11/21/13 11:03 AM)
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#453386 - 11/12/13 04:09 PM Re: If he apologized, would you forgive? Could you? [Re: Chase Eric]
unhappycamper Offline


Registered: 10/21/11
Posts: 645
Loc: VA
Put him in a jail cell for 10 to life and let him say what he wants.

John

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