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#453043 - 11/09/13 10:49 AM Dead end memories II
Hartdaddy Offline


Registered: 10/18/13
Posts: 13

Even before I get started I have a sick feeling in my stomach about this one. I was about 11-12 at the time, some man just showed up one day in our lives. I do not remember why he was there or where he came from, he started out as a friend of my parents. He was single, mid 40's, lived with his mother and had the most sissy sounding I had ever heard. I remember he liked to hunt for arrow heads (Indian artifact's) which was my fathers favorite past time. I do not remember if he was military or if he just had a discount card for some army surplus store, he always seem like he was dressed for war. This is another odd memory, one year he bought a night gown for my mother, he wanted to see her wearing it and my father did have a problem with it, in fact pictures were taken, we still have one. I do not think my mother was the one he had his eye on, I have 7 brothers and 3 sisters, I think he was just gaining my parents trust. We went on a lot of short trips with him, to an air force base to see airplanes, out to lunch, and other places I do not recall. One day we were down along the river hunting for arrow heads and things got very strange, he stated this was our art of the river and down around the bend was his, we were to stay here and hunt and he and my brother (or could have been my sister, cannot remember for sure) were going to his space. Talk about warning signals going off in my head (now for some guilt) however I did nothing. I have two other very odd memories, I cannot remember if these happened at the same time or a different day, but definitely at the same location. I remember standing next to him pee'ing and at some point we were discussing condoms, what they were and how to use them, he had some funny riddle about them. I have no memory beyond that point in fact I do not think I ever saw him again after that day.



I have questions which may have no answers:

What the hell were my parents thinking of, if you looked up the word pedophile up in the dictionary you would see his picture.

I have no memory/proof that anything beyond inappropriate conversation, that anything sexual happened.

Do I really want to know what happened, I have been a member of another support group dealing with SSA for about 14yrs. I tried to run some of these issued by them but they had no Idea where I was coming from. I am grateful to be here and sorry any of us need this site.


Dave

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#453044 - 11/09/13 10:56 AM Re: Dead end memories II [Re: Hartdaddy]
newground Offline
Chatroom Moderator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 10/11/11
Posts: 749
Loc: michigan
hey dave
I cant tell you which is better, I dont think anyone knows. there have been things I remembered that I wish I had never known, in fact I told T that if there IS more I don't want to know. that being said I think there is no solution until we can unpack and examine this stuff and put it to rest. the fact is your parents were unwise at best. it certainly seems inappropriate for you to have been in those situations.I would say that a good T might be able to help you to at least deal with the issues surrounding the lack of protection, and that would be a lot.
good luck man
Jeff
_________________________
Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. let me then tow to pieces, while still chasing thee, thou damned whale! Thus, I give up the spear!"
Herman Melville

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#453050 - 11/09/13 12:28 PM Re: Dead end memories II [Re: Hartdaddy]
thepatient Offline


Registered: 09/29/13
Posts: 29
Loc: USA
Quote:
one year he bought a night gown for my mother, he wanted to see her wearing it and my father did have a problem with it, in fact pictures were taken, we still have one.


Waitaminute...you mean to say your mom eventually obliged and pictures of her in the gown were taken? Were your parents swingers or something? It sounds like you had a strange home. I dunno, all in all the guy sounds like quite a weirdo and I don't understand why your dad brought him into your family.


Edited by thepatient (11/09/13 12:29 PM)
_________________________
"Shine on forever
Shine on benevolent sun
Shine down upon the broken
Shine until the two become one
Shine on upon the severed
Divided, I'm withering away
Shine on upon the many, light our way
Benevolent sun"

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