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#452901 - 11/08/13 11:36 AM who was your abuser? may trigger.
jas4159 Offline


Registered: 06/16/11
Posts: 278
My abusers were many, a relitive, his adult friend, the friends wife, the friends many other friends.

rich

justanothersurvivror.wordpress.org my story in blog.
copy and paste.
_________________________
Thanks

rich

justanothersurvivror.wordpress.com

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#452941 - 11/08/13 02:50 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3317
Loc: back in the USA
1. step-dad (verbal, emotional, physical and sexual) from age 5 1/2 to 13 (verbal and emotional continued until age 18)

2. numerous peers and older boys (in gangs and one-on-one) in school and scouts from age 11-13

3. stranger - tailor in a menswear shop fitting room at age 15

LEE
_________________________
We are often troubled, but not crushed;
sometimes in doubt, but never in despair;
there are many enemies, but we are never without a friend;
and though badly hurt at times, we are not destroyed.
- Paul, II Cor 4:8-9

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#453026 - 11/09/13 08:06 AM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
don64 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/13
Posts: 577
Loc: St. Croix, USVI
1. mother, age 0-3 1/2. she had two younger children to work with at that point. she systematically tortured me into submission and used me as a sexual toy. smothered me with pillow, choked me with hands, sat on me so i couldn't move or breathe, hurt my penis with pinching and biting and squeezed my testicles.

2. father, some times up to age 3 1/2. he went to korea as marine at that time and found religion when he returned. he raped me anally and orally. the smell of semen has always made me involuntarily gag. i was in my late fifties before i put the pieces together. i choked on his semen, couldn't breathe, he beat me and told me i was bad.

3. most likely father at age 8. the event is still totally blocked for me, but at some level i know it occurred. my mother was in hospital with birth of 4th child.
_________________________
Divine Law is not judgment or denial of self truths. Divine Law is honoring harmony that comes from a peaceful mind, an open heart, a true tongue, a light step, a forgiving nature, and a love of all living creatures. Jamie Sams & David Carson, Medicine Cards

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#453031 - 11/09/13 08:48 AM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
Moreorless Offline


Registered: 10/07/13
Posts: 20
Loc: Pittsburgh
1. Dad, age 5-15. Started with slaps, knees in back, some sleep deprivation, a few belts. Ended with my broken collar bone and him having the police called on himself at the hospital.

2. Mom, I was told I was left a lot as an infant though I have no memory of this. From about 12-19 there were a lot of long, hard objects; curtain rods, hockey sticks. She would put me in the psych ward when she didn't want me around. She made a hundred trips herself and was later the mom who cried wolf - so, they no longer took me but would take her.

She had an interest in me being clean. Would often remove my pants and... Well... Typing just that much is a step for me... Not interested in typing more, but I got that out.

This ended in her having 2 warrants out for her arrest on possession of cocaine, a DUI and a house gone up for sheriff's sale. Ultimately she was found hanging in her bedroom closet with a 40-60 page handwritten note that she scrawled for at least 3 months prior.


I'm 31 years old, she died 13 years ago. I still don't do so well with women in a place of authority. My boss, for example, is the nicest woman and respects me a lot - my palms sweat like crazy when she's around.
_________________________
"There is a crack in everything, that's how the light gets in." - Leonard Cohen

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#453035 - 11/09/13 09:45 AM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
Suwanee Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 690
Loc: Southeast USA
Age 11: A friend's step-dad. He used to get off on watching the neighborhood boys box and wrestle in his basement.

Age 13: A well-liked camp counselor who had a VERY dark side. He was/is a sadistic SOB.
_________________________
Cruel Summer
My Journal

-Signs and traces left in stone
Ruins of a past unknown-

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#453037 - 11/09/13 10:15 AM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
SoccerStar Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/15/12
Posts: 915
Loc: New York
Playground / hall / lunchroom monitor at my school. Very kindly, all the kids loved him including me (until).
_________________________
My story

"Don't think it hasn't been a little slice of heaven just because it hasn't!" --Bugs Bunny

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#453038 - 11/09/13 10:19 AM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
newground Offline
Chatroom Moderator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 10/11/11
Posts: 747
Loc: michigan
1)I was abused by a baby sitter,a female, at 5. I think it only happened the one time but Im not sure.

2.There were two different older girls I remember the two times specifically and there were other times when it was not as overt.

3)At 6,In the hospital after surgery a man came in to me and assaulted me. This memory came back and I feel so distorted about the whole thing. I can "see" him doing it, I feel the feelings but I don't know who he was and I don't want to remember it still.

4) Another girl when I was 7 or so she was about my age but so demanding, so insistent. she manipulated me and she actually started to cry! I still cant take that, I feel so guilty, and then angry when I make someone cry. I don't know what all went on that day I came back when she said " I'm gonna tell my mom"... I was so terrified her mom never came in, she never came back, and her mom never baby sat again.

5) The last was a older boy at school, I was 13. He was someone I knew from classes, though he was older.He pretended to be a friend,and stalked me. I let him be way too close cause I wanted his friendship. late after school one day I went into the bathroom thinking it would be safe then, he was waiting for me it was rape,violent and terrifying.it hurts to say that. I still hear the noises in that huge hall bathroom still feel the cold tile...

I don't trust easily or well. this is as close as I have come to telling my story on here, maybe this is why. I finally begin to realize that keeping it hidden will never make it go away. I don't know if it will ever go away but I know it can be better and I am looking for that day.
_________________________
Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. let me then tow to pieces, while still chasing thee, thou damned whale! Thus, I give up the spear!"
Herman Melville

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#453061 - 11/09/13 03:08 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
Adopted mother (0-until I cut her off when I was in my mid-30s).

Her wimpy codep third husband with whom she verbally and emotionally tag team me, most consistently every night at the dinner table among other times.

High school guidance counselor who raped me in the mouth over the course of my sophomore year, sometimes in his school office.

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#453063 - 11/09/13 03:40 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
Bill61 Offline


Registered: 09/29/13
Posts: 41
Loc: Illinois
-I was emotionally and psychologically abused by mother from age 3-18. She is still alive and never admitted to anything.
-I was sexually abused iduring my sophomore-part of my senior years at a catholic high school in Illinois. My abuser was my counselor and priest who abused me in his office which is also his bedroom. I was one of 4 people he abused at my high school, but he also abused two boys at a school in Indianapolis, some at two two schools in Ohio before he was moved my my HS. Then he was moved to Oakland, CA and then Detroit, MI. He was defrocked in 2004, but was still honored in 2011 for 70 years of service as a priest. I went through mediation this year after I repressed my memory over 36 years.
_________________________
Small Stones
"Those who remove mountains begin by carrying away small stones"

"I am in charge of how I fell and I choose HAPPINESS" from The Law of Attraction.

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#453084 - 11/09/13 08:43 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
DavoSwim Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/06/13
Posts: 314
Loc: Iowa, USA
My first abuser was the parish priest. Shortly after that was a neighborhood kid who was a year ahead of me in school. Next was a family friend who molested me during a summer vacation in the Rocky Mountains. Finally a co-worker who assaulted me and threatened my with blackmail

Dave

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#453087 - 11/09/13 09:03 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
On The Fringe Offline


Registered: 09/21/13
Posts: 326
Loc: Southeast USA
15 year old, I was 8.
_________________________
I feel more like I do now than I did when I got here.

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#453089 - 11/09/13 09:21 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
Overcomer Offline


Registered: 11/12/10
Posts: 41
Loc: Sumter, SC
My cousin from 11-16. Around the holidays - the only time we were around them.

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#453092 - 11/09/13 09:37 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
Bill61 Offline


Registered: 09/29/13
Posts: 41
Loc: Illinois
DavoSwim
I'm sorry to hear about another male survivor was abused by a priest too. Did you get in touch with SNAP-Iowa? I tried to get help from the Chicago office, but I got more help from the Iowa office. I can get you the director's name if you would like it.

Bill61
_________________________
Small Stones
"Those who remove mountains begin by carrying away small stones"

"I am in charge of how I fell and I choose HAPPINESS" from The Law of Attraction.

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#453352 - 11/12/13 12:20 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
jas4159 Offline


Registered: 06/16/11
Posts: 278
thanks everyone
_________________________
Thanks

rich

justanothersurvivror.wordpress.com

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#453365 - 11/12/13 02:12 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
CafeMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/18/13
Posts: 149
Loc: Chicago
My ex brother in law when I was 11 until 12 for a period of seven months. It consisted of fondling, and he would pinch me. He forced me to touch him, as well. I told my family, and I never saw him again. My sister divorced him two years later. She remarried and has a 23 year old daughter. When she decided to remarry, I was pleasant yet distant to her second husband for obvious reasons.

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#453500 - 11/13/13 01:44 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
Onesimus75 Offline


Registered: 08/22/13
Posts: 158
Loc: Minnesota
An older boy at camp, a stranger who followed me around in his car, and a trusted and close friend in high school for the date rape that is my big issue.
_________________________
We are not defined by our faults, or our wounds, but by the truth within us, which nothing can take away.

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#453536 - 11/13/13 07:20 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
Castle Offline


Registered: 10/03/09
Posts: 727
Loc: NJ
My brother.

One thing this thread adds credence to is the myth of " stranger danger".

Most abuse is perpetrated by people we know / trust... n ot by random " lunatics" running around the streets. Nor are most perpetrators pedophiles. ( not discrediting or minimizing anybody abuse who suffered abuse by a stranger/ lunatic/ true pedophile)
_________________________

My posts can self destruct at any time..read them while you can.

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#453579 - 11/13/13 11:14 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
unhappycamper Offline


Registered: 10/21/11
Posts: 588
Loc: VA
Adult male employee or counselor at a summer camp.

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#453587 - 11/14/13 12:39 AM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
tbkkfile Offline


Registered: 09/16/13
Posts: 147
Loc: Surrey, United Kingdom
Assistant scout leader at summer camp who drove in the tent pegs and tied me to them and 3 scouts who were egged on by him, then for the next 6 months by the 3 scouts on their own, with a brief interlude by one of my Mother's boyfriends
_________________________
Go back?" he thought. "No good at all! Go sideways? Impossible! Go forward? Only thing to do! On we go!" So up he got, and trotted along with his little sword held in front of him and one hand feeling the wall, and his heart all of a patter and a pitter

J.R.R.Tolkien, The Hobbit

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#453698 - 11/14/13 10:53 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
Ocellaris Offline


Registered: 06/12/12
Posts: 12
Loc: New York
teacher

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#453809 - 11/15/13 03:34 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
johndoe Offline


Registered: 11/15/13
Posts: 10
Loc: california
the next door neighbor's son when I was 11. I was to go over to their house after school each day until my mother got home from work. The son was 4 years older (i think) and was much bigger than me.

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#453820 - 11/15/13 04:54 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3018
Loc: O Kanada
abusers of my childhood:

sexual - cousin, tenant, neighbour, schoolmate, uncle, employer, friend's mother.

verbal - mother

physical - father, police, several sadistic strangers

i have not included violence that i believe i provoked or earned or encouraged or deserved,
such as mutual combat injuries,
or appropriate official corporal punishments from authority figures for unacceptable actions.
we still had the strap in our school, and spankings were still in fashion.
there is some debate as to whether this is also abuse.
it all felt the same to me,
but the psychological impact feels different to me.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#453843 - 11/15/13 07:51 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
George Offline
Member

Registered: 01/29/01
Posts: 120
Loc: NY metro
Uncle, he was in his late 30's, I was 8 through 12.

*Almost* another one by an older kid who was a friend of sorts from down the street, he was 15, I was 12. We went bike riding into the woods, we got off our bikes to rest. He then started talking, saying how we were such good friends as he walks up to me and wraps his arm around me... My Spidey senses screamed get the hell away from him, I jerked out of his grasp and said something like, lets get going and jumped on my bike and went straight home. I Never went by him again, his family moved soon afterward. I'm sure he didn't plan on me countering his move. I wonder how many others fell prey to him.

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#453853 - 11/15/13 08:02 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
sentry Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 08/11/12
Posts: 58
Loc: Canada
I was first sexually abused by my foster brother. It is the first incident I can recall. I was 8 or 9 I believe and he is four years older than me. He groomed me for future abuse involving him.
My foster mother was violent. Crazy really. She once took her finger nails and cut the end of my penis in anger. She used scotch tape to close the cut. She also used to center her anger on my genitals and squeeze my testicles. She would force me to sit in scalding hot water and beat me if I didn't. She used the belt on me a lot. I was always made to strip naked for some reason ever time she was in a rage. She seemed to just hate me for being me. I remember her hitting my bare feet with a metal ladle when I tried to protect them she would hit the back of my legs and small of my back. Her and her son seemed to work in tandem on me and my sister.

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#453926 - 11/16/13 01:31 AM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
tbkkfile Offline


Registered: 09/16/13
Posts: 147
Loc: Surrey, United Kingdom
Quote:
or appropriate official corporal punishments from authority figures for unacceptable actions.
we still had the strap in our school, and spankings were still in fashion.
there is some debate as to whether this is also abuse.


Victor, over here in the UK teachers were allowed to use a variety of tools for corporal punishment, the cane, what we called the slipper which was in fact a shoe with a chalk cross and you were hit with it normally on the bottom until the chalk dissapeared, the games teacher used to use the climbing rope, you'd frequently have the blackboard rubber thrown at you

Sadly I think that it promoted a culture of violence, after all if its OK for a grown up to do it then.......
_________________________
Go back?" he thought. "No good at all! Go sideways? Impossible! Go forward? Only thing to do! On we go!" So up he got, and trotted along with his little sword held in front of him and one hand feeling the wall, and his heart all of a patter and a pitter

J.R.R.Tolkien, The Hobbit

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#453992 - 11/16/13 12:58 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
Daniel_forgotten Offline


Registered: 02/07/09
Posts: 479
My father first. Then his friends, my uncles. That wasn't my fault. In my teens, two drugdealers, a woman who offered me a job, two guys in the juv detention hall, random men in bars and a truck driver. Those all were my fault.

i hadn't checked these facts before. It's weird to see it typed.

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#454001 - 11/16/13 01:24 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3317
Loc: back in the USA
Daniel - even in your teens, if the others who participated with you were adults - it was not your fault - legally, the adult is the one responsible. even if you think you "let it happen." even if you think you "initiated" it. even if you think you "asked for it." it was at least partially their fault for not observing the proper boundaries of not messing with a kid. you were a minor = a child. give yourself a break. don't take on all the guilt. it does not all belong to you.

LEE
_________________________
We are often troubled, but not crushed;
sometimes in doubt, but never in despair;
there are many enemies, but we are never without a friend;
and though badly hurt at times, we are not destroyed.
- Paul, II Cor 4:8-9

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#454041 - 11/16/13 04:41 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
lapchinj Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1166
Loc: New York
This is a bit big to sort out my shit, but I'll try.

Before I0 years old I have no memory or anything except being beaten by my mother.

10-16 by my friends sister, girlfriend and their boyfriends. The girls took photoshoots (thousands of pictures) for magazines and for distribution for me and her brother. The boyfriends used to use us in shows where they had dogs do us while we were high on drugs and other physical and sexual abuse.

12-18 I lived with my judo teacher and I was pimped out to high class rich pervs starting at 12 in midtown Manhattan

I was able to get away from all that when I went into the USAF at 18-1/2 but I lost a couple of friends along the way. If the stats are correct I probably lost some very close friends that we shared with other boys that belonged to my judo teacher. My boyfriend from when we first met at 12 till I saw him last when I was around 20-22 probably succummed to aging out as a prostitute and was surely dead by the time he was 30.

14-15 I was sucked up into the underworld by a tailor where I was taken once a week for a year to be brutalized by huge fucken bodybuilders. There was other shit that went on there that really screwed up my head but I can't go into that yet publicly. I only realized that my judo teacher who I loved sold my ass to these people whether willingly or not willingly. I think this was the worst time of my entire life. I was even scared to kill myself, although I tried twice.

Hey Lee it seems that tailors are very interested in what's in the pants. I guess I know now that when I was 14 he had gotten me to undress and then got me into what I thought would be modeling. All it turned out to be was making movies of rapes, beatings, blood and pain for sale to organizations.

Boy what sad and sick stories there are here. I wish I had the magic to make the hurt all disappear.

14-1/2 - I was stripped in the lunchroom of my high school - 1st suicide attempt
14-3/4 - I was abducted for 2 days being raped repeatedly by what I think was 5 or 6 people - 2nd suicide attempt

Peace, Rainbows, Love, Healing & Hope
Jeff


Edited by lapchinj (11/16/13 05:38 PM)
Edit Reason: last 2 items
_________________________
Forgiveness is giving up on the hope that what the past was could have been any different or better.
It's accepting the past for what it was, and using this moment and this time to help yourself move forward.

It will get better....

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#454045 - 11/16/13 04:52 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
Frustrated Offline


Registered: 10/28/13
Posts: 192
Sorry if I seem amiss but that happened to you ??

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#454050 - 11/16/13 05:56 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
lapchinj Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1166
Loc: New York
Hey Frustrated,

Did you mean me? If you did yes, that was my childhood. I can't say much about what my life was before 10 but I do know that I was beaten by my mother and she still makes the joke of when I was 3yo how I used to stand in front of her telling her that I wanted to run away. She tells further that I would stand there telling her that until she chased me away under threat of a beating or she would run after me and chase me into my room where I would hide under my bed. She said that I continued telling her that I wanted to run away until I was 11 when I did run away but was brought back to a beating. At 12 even though I was still officially living with them I had left them for the next 56 years. When I was 13 my mother would stay in their house in Florida for the winter and my father would go down every weekend leaving Thursday straight from work and coming back on Monday going straight to work. So he had only a chance to see me 3 nights a week of which I was never home for 3 of those nights smile. So I did have a great relationship with my two asshole parents because I never saw them grin.

Peace, Rainbows, Love, Healing & Hope
color:#33CC00]J[/color]eff
_________________________
Forgiveness is giving up on the hope that what the past was could have been any different or better.
It's accepting the past for what it was, and using this moment and this time to help yourself move forward.

It will get better....

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#454052 - 11/16/13 06:28 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
Frustrated Offline


Registered: 10/28/13
Posts: 192
Lapchinj yes you. You are an incredibly strong person.

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#454061 - 11/16/13 09:28 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
lapchinj Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1166
Loc: New York
Hey Frustrated,

Thank you for the kind words, I just wish I could agree with you. My world came crashing down around me almost 3 years ago and I'm still trying to dig my way out. I hope to be successful but the outlook at the moment pretty bleak.

I saw this thread and read every post here. There are so many chilling posts here with people trying to reclaim their lives. This thread is real evidence of destroyed childhoods plus who and what destroyed them. None of this should ever have happened and I am only one of those stories. Everyone here is incredibly strong just for the fact that you and the rest of the MS family came here in the first place. I just hope that we will all be successful in our journeys.

Thanks for coming and getting involved. Your involvement helps everyone and you never know when one of your posts can save a life.

Peace, Rainbows, Love, Healing & Hope
Jeff
_________________________
Forgiveness is giving up on the hope that what the past was could have been any different or better.
It's accepting the past for what it was, and using this moment and this time to help yourself move forward.

It will get better....

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#454068 - 11/16/13 09:47 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
Frustrated Offline


Registered: 10/28/13
Posts: 192
Lapchinj everyone one here I agree is strong just some thing about your story impressed upon me. I look at this as motivation "I will never be fixed I will never be whole I will never be okay I will never give up" the only option for me is to fight. No matter how bad it gets and it's going to get much worse for me. Ask me tomorrow and I might feel different but the more I think this was the more progress I will make. Hope this helps some.

James

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#454076 - 11/16/13 10:26 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
lapchinj Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1166
Loc: New York
Hey James,

I hope I've helped in some way that's all I can offer and it's what we're all here for - one another smile.

Thanks for the kind words.

Peace, Rainbows, Love, Healing & Hope
<3 XOXO
Jeff
_________________________
Forgiveness is giving up on the hope that what the past was could have been any different or better.
It's accepting the past for what it was, and using this moment and this time to help yourself move forward.

It will get better....

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#454078 - 11/16/13 10:48 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
pittsburgh Offline


Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 87
Loc: west Chester, Pa
I've never been able to put anything in writing, just been afraid to see it I think. perp was on my paper route. Really sucked me in with grooming. Nice tips, sodas,always talked to me about what a great job I did.
_________________________
it is and has been quite a trip thru life, as last I feel that I am in a better place, it takes work and in my case a wife the was and is forgiveing and helpful. At last a relationship has gone right, messed up three.

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#454112 - 11/17/13 08:56 AM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
Frustrated Offline


Registered: 10/28/13
Posts: 192
It all helps. Maybe one day I will tell my wife. It's a big risk I will have to take

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#464632 - 04/26/14 11:54 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
Mike Boyd Offline


Registered: 04/23/14
Posts: 5
Loc: Florida
My abusers were my mother & doctor:

Mother: Verbally & she would inspect my penis and make me have an orgasm

Doctor: When he examined me, he thoroughly examined my genital until I had an orgasm

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#464644 - 04/27/14 12:34 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
OCN Offline


Registered: 02/05/13
Posts: 217
Loc: Western Europe
My brother, i was 11-12 and he was 3 years older
_________________________
Trust me, you are worth it to love yourself!

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#464738 - 04/29/14 12:19 AM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
atari_kid86 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/23/10
Posts: 124
Loc: Michigan
9 years old: Neighbor boy who I believe was 13.

10-11: Another neighbor boy joined in. He was my age, but much bigger than I.

11-14: Mother's husband.

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#464739 - 04/29/14 12:41 AM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
Minute2Minute Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/11/08
Posts: 70
Loc: MB, Canada
My only real childhood memories are of abuse.
Grandmother: Constant verbal; daily beatings/whippings (she loved belts and electrical cords) when her rage was bad, weekly if it was good - continued to age 9
Half brother: 8 years older; six years of sexual abuse starting at age 5
Myself: age 13 to age 44 and counting

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#464800 - 04/30/14 07:24 AM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 1927
Loc: durham, north england
Age 9, a then 18 year old cousin coerced me into fondling his penis on two ocasions.

age 11-15, at school, started with general bullying, verbal insults, occasional physical violence, got gradually worse over the next few years until it was regular full scale public gang rape and s/xual humiliation by several girls, plus continuing physical violence by boys.

I am still genophobic and hate anything to do with s/x, nor can I bee seen in any state of undress by another person. I've been doing recovery now for about 7 years, or at least trying to, I'm now 31 but I'm not sure any of it has really done any good.

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#464810 - 04/30/14 10:24 AM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
genedebs Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/12
Posts: 283
Loc: MO
It seems to go on forever. Just reading these posts. Don't know
why this may be helpful, but I am willing to disclose.

My brother 2 years older at 10 and 12. Rubbing his penis on me
and getting me to suck his dick and then berating me for being homosexual

My mother had me undress so her photographer friend could take pictures 12

Friend of my mother's 26 years old who was supposed to take care of me when I was sick. From 13 - 14 Kissed my body, sucked me off, raped orally, raped me anally.

My mother's business partner in my late teens, I was probably age
of consent. Oral sex. (Mother told me he was trying to resolve his sexual identity.)

Physical abuse by Father and Brother from 4 to 16.

My mother manipulated me into doing things that we strange,like holding me responsible for staying in her abusive marraige (from 1958 to 1999), like making my father tell her he loved her. Making decisions about the use of college funds when my father was out of work, proving her success as a mother by my accomplishments (probably narsistic supply to her narcisism)


I have no idea why this would help but I thought I would offer it up for the request.


Edited by genedebs (04/30/14 10:28 AM)
Edit Reason: adding her shift of responsibility

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#464823 - 04/30/14 05:12 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
Frustrated Offline


Registered: 10/28/13
Posts: 192
My uncle from four to five my father five to 13

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#464825 - 04/30/14 05:30 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
Frustrated Offline


Registered: 10/28/13
Posts: 192
Oh ya when I was 13 a 17 year old girl got me drink and had sex with me if that counts as abuse

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#464826 - 04/30/14 07:55 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 1927
Loc: durham, north england
And why wouldn't it? count as abuse, reverse the genders and ask if it would be okay for a 17 year old boy to get a 13 year old girl drunk.

God I hate gender sterreotypes!

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#465535 - 05/20/14 12:38 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
zip14 Offline


Registered: 03/20/14
Posts: 17
Loc: Ontario, Canada
A teacher. And he is going to be arrested this week. 42 years and 2 months after the fact. Hard to breathe right now.

I am both empowered and overpowered by it at the same time. So very much off balance. Just stress I expect.

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#465539 - 05/20/14 02:33 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
recordplayer69 Offline


Registered: 05/20/14
Posts: 9
Loc: Texas
I was passed around between my father and his 2 brothers from 8 to 12. Was considered 'too old' after that.....

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#465550 - 05/20/14 08:01 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
lapchinj Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1166
Loc: New York
Hey Zip

How do you feel now? a little less stressed out?

Peace, Rainbows, Love, Healing & Hope
<3 XOXO
Jeff
_________________________
Forgiveness is giving up on the hope that what the past was could have been any different or better.
It's accepting the past for what it was, and using this moment and this time to help yourself move forward.

It will get better....

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#465551 - 05/20/14 08:04 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
lapchinj Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1166
Loc: New York
Hey Recordplayer

Sorry you had to come here but you're now a part of a brotherhood. Join in on the boards, not only can it help you but you can help someone else with your story and how you're trying to heal.

That first post is always the hardest but you'll look back at it as a turning point in your life

Peace, Rainbows, Love, Healing & Hope
<3 XOXO
Jeff
_________________________
Forgiveness is giving up on the hope that what the past was could have been any different or better.
It's accepting the past for what it was, and using this moment and this time to help yourself move forward.

It will get better....

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#465560 - 05/20/14 10:32 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
learning2luvme Offline


Registered: 06/12/12
Posts: 49
Ugh....three years later in the recovery process unfortunately I continue to identify individuals as my brain decides to let me remember.

1. Pedophile old man that lived across the street. Raped me on July 4, 1976 when I went to his home to deliver a bottle of honey I had sold his wife for a school fundraiser. He continued to abuse me from age 8 till about 13 or 14.

2. Teenage boy that lived on the block.

3. Another boy in the neighborhood who was around my age, but he was bigger than me.

4. Multiple perpatrators that were somehow connected to Man #1...mostly shadow figures in my brain but some I recall nicknames such as "Fat Man", "Green Jeans" involved in an early child porn/sex ring and gang rape of young boys. Fortunately, I don't have much recollection of these men as I was mostly drugged and kept in dark rooms so I couldn't identify the abuser.

It's a sick fucking world isn't it....even back then.

Next...

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