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#453809 - 11/15/13 03:34 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
johndoe Offline


Registered: 11/15/13
Posts: 10
Loc: california
the next door neighbor's son when I was 11. I was to go over to their house after school each day until my mother got home from work. The son was 4 years older (i think) and was much bigger than me.

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#453820 - 11/15/13 04:54 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3336
Loc: O Kanada
abusers of my childhood:

sexual - cousin, tenant, neighbour, schoolmate, uncle, employer, friend's mother.

verbal - mother

physical - father, police, several sadistic strangers

i have not included violence that i believe i provoked or earned or encouraged or deserved,
such as mutual combat injuries,
or appropriate official corporal punishments from authority figures for unacceptable actions.
we still had the strap in our school, and spankings were still in fashion.
there is some debate as to whether this is also abuse.
it all felt the same to me,
but the psychological impact feels different to me.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#453843 - 11/15/13 07:51 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
George Offline
Member

Registered: 01/29/01
Posts: 120
Loc: NY metro
Uncle, he was in his late 30's, I was 8 through 12.

*Almost* another one by an older kid who was a friend of sorts from down the street, he was 15, I was 12. We went bike riding into the woods, we got off our bikes to rest. He then started talking, saying how we were such good friends as he walks up to me and wraps his arm around me... My Spidey senses screamed get the hell away from him, I jerked out of his grasp and said something like, lets get going and jumped on my bike and went straight home. I Never went by him again, his family moved soon afterward. I'm sure he didn't plan on me countering his move. I wonder how many others fell prey to him.

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#453853 - 11/15/13 08:02 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
sentry Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 08/11/12
Posts: 58
Loc: Canada
I was first sexually abused by my foster brother. It is the first incident I can recall. I was 8 or 9 I believe and he is four years older than me. He groomed me for future abuse involving him.
My foster mother was violent. Crazy really. She once took her finger nails and cut the end of my penis in anger. She used scotch tape to close the cut. She also used to center her anger on my genitals and squeeze my testicles. She would force me to sit in scalding hot water and beat me if I didn't. She used the belt on me a lot. I was always made to strip naked for some reason ever time she was in a rage. She seemed to just hate me for being me. I remember her hitting my bare feet with a metal ladle when I tried to protect them she would hit the back of my legs and small of my back. Her and her son seemed to work in tandem on me and my sister.

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#453926 - 11/16/13 01:31 AM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
tbkkfile Offline


Registered: 09/16/13
Posts: 181
Loc: Surrey, United Kingdom
Quote:
or appropriate official corporal punishments from authority figures for unacceptable actions.
we still had the strap in our school, and spankings were still in fashion.
there is some debate as to whether this is also abuse.


Victor, over here in the UK teachers were allowed to use a variety of tools for corporal punishment, the cane, what we called the slipper which was in fact a shoe with a chalk cross and you were hit with it normally on the bottom until the chalk dissapeared, the games teacher used to use the climbing rope, you'd frequently have the blackboard rubber thrown at you

Sadly I think that it promoted a culture of violence, after all if its OK for a grown up to do it then.......
_________________________
Go back?" he thought. "No good at all! Go sideways? Impossible! Go forward? Only thing to do! On we go!" So up he got, and trotted along with his little sword held in front of him and one hand feeling the wall, and his heart all of a patter and a pitter

J.R.R.Tolkien, The Hobbit

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#453992 - 11/16/13 12:58 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
Daniel_forgotten Offline


Registered: 02/07/09
Posts: 479
My father first. Then his friends, my uncles. That wasn't my fault. In my teens, two drugdealers, a woman who offered me a job, two guys in the juv detention hall, random men in bars and a truck driver. Those all were my fault.

i hadn't checked these facts before. It's weird to see it typed.

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#454001 - 11/16/13 01:24 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3392
Loc: somewhere in Africa
Daniel - even in your teens, if the others who participated with you were adults - it was not your fault - legally, the adult is the one responsible. even if you think you "let it happen." even if you think you "initiated" it. even if you think you "asked for it." it was at least partially their fault for not observing the proper boundaries of not messing with a kid. you were a minor = a child. give yourself a break. don't take on all the guilt. it does not all belong to you.

LEE
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#454041 - 11/16/13 04:41 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
lapchinj Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1195
Loc: New York
This is a bit big to sort out my shit, but I'll try.

Before I0 years old I have no memory or anything except being beaten by my mother.

10-16 by my friends sister, girlfriend and their boyfriends. The girls took photoshoots (thousands of pictures) for magazines and for distribution for me and her brother. The boyfriends used to use us in shows where they had dogs do us while we were high on drugs and other physical and sexual abuse.

12-18 I lived with my judo teacher and I was pimped out to high class rich pervs starting at 12 in midtown Manhattan

I was able to get away from all that when I went into the USAF at 18-1/2 but I lost a couple of friends along the way. If the stats are correct I probably lost some very close friends that we shared with other boys that belonged to my judo teacher. My boyfriend from when we first met at 12 till I saw him last when I was around 20-22 probably succummed to aging out as a prostitute and was surely dead by the time he was 30.

14-15 I was sucked up into the underworld by a tailor where I was taken once a week for a year to be brutalized by huge fucken bodybuilders. There was other shit that went on there that really screwed up my head but I can't go into that yet publicly. I only realized that my judo teacher who I loved sold my ass to these people whether willingly or not willingly. I think this was the worst time of my entire life. I was even scared to kill myself, although I tried twice.

Hey Lee it seems that tailors are very interested in what's in the pants. I guess I know now that when I was 14 he had gotten me to undress and then got me into what I thought would be modeling. All it turned out to be was making movies of rapes, beatings, blood and pain for sale to organizations.

Boy what sad and sick stories there are here. I wish I had the magic to make the hurt all disappear.

14-1/2 - I was stripped in the lunchroom of my high school - 1st suicide attempt
14-3/4 - I was abducted for 2 days being raped repeatedly by what I think was 5 or 6 people - 2nd suicide attempt

Peace, Rainbows, Love, Healing & Hope
Jeff


Edited by lapchinj (11/16/13 05:38 PM)
Edit Reason: last 2 items
_________________________
Stick around, It will get better....

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#454045 - 11/16/13 04:52 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
Frustrated Offline


Registered: 10/28/13
Posts: 192
Sorry if I seem amiss but that happened to you ??

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#454050 - 11/16/13 05:56 PM Re: who was your abuser? may trigger. [Re: jas4159]
lapchinj Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/07/11
Posts: 1195
Loc: New York
Hey Frustrated,

Did you mean me? If you did yes, that was my childhood. I can't say much about what my life was before 10 but I do know that I was beaten by my mother and she still makes the joke of when I was 3yo how I used to stand in front of her telling her that I wanted to run away. She tells further that I would stand there telling her that until she chased me away under threat of a beating or she would run after me and chase me into my room where I would hide under my bed. She said that I continued telling her that I wanted to run away until I was 11 when I did run away but was brought back to a beating. At 12 even though I was still officially living with them I had left them for the next 56 years. When I was 13 my mother would stay in their house in Florida for the winter and my father would go down every weekend leaving Thursday straight from work and coming back on Monday going straight to work. So he had only a chance to see me 3 nights a week of which I was never home for 3 of those nights smile. So I did have a great relationship with my two asshole parents because I never saw them grin.

Peace, Rainbows, Love, Healing & Hope
color:#33CC00]J[/color]eff
_________________________
Stick around, It will get better....

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