Thanks I never thought that maybe its his self-esteem. I work in fashion/entertainment where this an emphasis on looks but I've always been into dressing up since I was little. But ultimately I care far more about the inside.
But it's gotten to the point that he accuses me of being self-serving when I'm volunteering with the elderly! I don't even know how that's possible.
And I guess I should have mentioned he's several times that I don't get him off like the two girls he's "dated" before. And by dated I mean screwing because he had zero feelings for them and wasn't even attracted to one of them. Yet he says the two other women he loved weren't able to get him off how he likes either. And of course porn gets him off.
The more I listen to everyone the more I realize how unhealthy this has become and I can't make excuses for his CSA issues when he's not willing to deal with it.
Because he is a victim of a terrible crime, it does not mean you are obligated to stay and be unhappy. His inability to get off with you, as an attractive woman, but with porn has to be aggravating. My wife would be on a mission. Silly girl makes me laugh.
My wife and have a bit of a deal. I try. She tries. We experiment. We don't judge.
She chose to stay. And I love her dearly.
I don't know if I would throw myself into a relationship of one way effort.