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#455980 - 12/04/13 08:11 AM Re: Starting relationships and physical affection [Re: dark empathy]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 2015
Loc: durham, north england
I don't know all that "not manly" and "being like a gay guy" just seems to not work according to the male friends I have who have! successful relationships. It also seems far too sterriotypical and symplistic.

I'm just sick of all this, I wish I didn't desire a relationship, or at least that I was female so something would work. Is it touch? is it genophobia? or maybe what I was told when i was a teenager was right all along and I'm just diseased.

And Hermit, if you had a girlfriend, then you obviously found some way of making this stupid thing work that I haven't, even if things have changed since. I'm sick of people talking about relationships as though they're just a natural part of life, to me, nothing is more unnatural or outside my experience, and the worst thing is I can't change this.

I just wish I didn't have this desire anymore, albeit I know trying to destroy it doesn't help either. I am just tired of this.


Edited by dark empathy (12/04/13 08:15 AM)

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#456104 - 12/05/13 05:44 AM Re: Starting relationships and physical affection [Re: dark empathy]
TheHermit Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 06/06/05
Posts: 24
Loc: USA

Here. You'll like this one, I bet. smile

I'm reminded of the movie A Beautiful Mind, where John Nash is direct and not at all romantic and magical. Why leave something so important to mere chance? smile

Nash: "I don't exactly know what I am required to say in order for you to have intercourse with me. But could we assume that I said all that. I mean essentially we are talking about fluid exchange right? So could we go just straight to the sex." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tTN-CVQuBR8

Nash: "I find you attractive. Your aggressive moves toward me... indicate that you feel the same way. But still, ritual requires that we continue with a number of platonic activities... before we have sex. I am proceeding with these activities, but in point of actual fact, all I really want to do is have intercourse with you as soon as possible."

[pause]

Nash: "Are you gonna slap me now?" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lplDv1m_Zhk

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#456106 - 12/05/13 07:13 AM Re: Starting relationships and physical affection [Re: dark empathy]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 2015
Loc: durham, north england
I'm not sure hermit if you meant that flippently or not, but to be honest that makes me sick.

I'm genophobic, even the word s/x I find difficult. If I just wanted the physical act, I'd just track down and pay a prostitute and not worry about it anymore than I worry about going into a restaurant and paying a professional chef to satisfy my desire for a pleasurable experience of eating. Indeed to me the idea of desiring just! s/x I find quite disgusting, which is exactly why I havne't! just paid a professional to service me.

If anything I'm almost the opposite way to those quotations you mention. I want love! actual, communicative love, that state which exists between people who are together which is one step beyond friendship.

At this point I wouldn't care if I never took my trousers off. just being curled up with someone, actual kissing or holding hands would be enough, or at least would be as far down that road as I can imagine myself going comfortably.

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#456164 - 12/06/13 02:29 AM Re: Starting relationships and physical affection [Re: dark empathy]
TheHermit Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 06/06/05
Posts: 24
Loc: USA
Nope. I had no idea you were not interested in sex. My apologies then.

I didn't post it for the sex part though. Only to show how Nash didn't understand the social rules of courtship so he had to be direct.


Edited by TheHermit (12/06/13 02:41 AM)

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#456176 - 12/06/13 09:07 AM Re: Starting relationships and physical affection [Re: dark empathy]
dark empathy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/26/07
Posts: 2015
Loc: durham, north england
If courtship as you put it was just about s/x, I wouldn't care and could live quite happily without it, indeed I suspect if that were the case genophobia would be no more socially difficult than any other phobia.

After all if your afraid of hights it's easy enough to stay on the ground.

It's the fact that there is this state of communication which goes beyond friendship that I find difficult, and it's that! which I struggle being without.


Edited by dark empathy (12/06/13 09:12 AM)

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#458041 - 01/05/14 01:28 PM Re: Starting relationships and physical affection [Re: dark empathy]
TheHermit Offline
Junior Member

Registered: 06/06/05
Posts: 24
Loc: USA

I guess I should have mentioned... a few weeks before this thread, I, coincidentally, saw a story on the news about someone wanting to open a business where you pay to cuddle with someone else.

Would you cuddle a stranger for $80 an hour?

"Snuggling enthusiasts say a new pay-per-cuddle practice is therapy. Police say it's a front for prostitution."

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