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#452525 - 11/05/13 07:00 AM The Age of My Tears
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5945
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
This thought has had a profound effect on my understanding of the emotional release of abuse memories. The thoughts is that no matter how old we are, when those memories overwhelm us, or we share those memories, the feelings, the emotions that are present are not those of a mid twenties, thirties or sixties year old. Those overwhelming emotions are from that wounded, terrified, lonely boy that only a few moments ago was offended, abused, assaulted or deceived by a sick person. That boy is trying to express himself after years or decades being suppressed, ignored or silenced.

Let me add, gentle survivors, that allowing this release is cathartic. It genuinely leads to healing, to protecting and nurturing that hurt boy, encouraging him to heal, to mature and to join those parts of us that have moved on, our intellect and physicality. We become one through releasing those tears of that age.

Sam
_________________________
MaleSurvivor Moderator Emeritus 2012 - 2014

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#452526 - 11/05/13 07:05 AM Re: The Age of My Tears [Re: SamV]
Frustrated Offline


Registered: 10/28/13
Posts: 192
Sounds right. It's like when some one dies you remember them at the age they died.

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#452528 - 11/05/13 07:14 AM Re: The Age of My Tears [Re: SamV]
Lost Mountain Offline


Registered: 12/05/12
Posts: 47
Loc: Atlanta
You are so right on there Sam those words can explain a lot to people who wonder why we get upset or breakdown.

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#452529 - 11/05/13 07:16 AM Re: The Age of My Tears [Re: SamV]
Lost Mountain Offline


Registered: 12/05/12
Posts: 47
Loc: Atlanta
Oh and I hope you do not mind but I am going to post that on my facebook,, just the words no names or identifiers.

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#452543 - 11/05/13 11:01 AM Re: The Age of My Tears [Re: SamV]
DavoSwim Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/06/13
Posts: 334
Loc: Iowa, USA
Sam

Your comment is so simple, yet it is so true. It is such a helpful statement, and it provides an answer to so many of the questions I have about why i act the way I do. Thank you for writing it.

Dave

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#452545 - 11/05/13 11:22 AM Re: The Age of My Tears [Re: SamV]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1745
Sam

Well said-our child that has held the emotions of the abuse and feelings toward the abuser is being released. The release is needed to allow for the healing. Unfortunately the pain and affects of the release is different for all of us.

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#452549 - 11/05/13 12:00 PM Re: The Age of My Tears [Re: SamV]
Andre960 Offline


Registered: 11/01/13
Posts: 9
Loc: Ontario Canada
I appreciate your reminder, Sam. And the how's and when's that we experience emotional catharsis is an individual experience - I guess that some characteristics are similar for all of us. I long for a time when I feel totally integrated, physically, emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually(whatever that might mean). I mostly doubt I will see that day, but then I have come to understand that living in this moment and being daily "present" in my journey IS the great adventure. The goal or the destination is good to keep an "eye" on, but what really matters is what I do along the way.
This is my first post here. I want to express thanks for all of you who submit and share your experiences. I am greatly encouraged by your input.:>)

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#452560 - 11/05/13 01:52 PM Re: The Age of My Tears [Re: SamV]
BuffaloCO Offline


Registered: 07/14/12
Posts: 432
Loc: USA
Personally, Im tired of crying even at different ages. It's gotten old but this too will pass someday. Least I can still believe that if nothing else.
_________________________
“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark. The real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” - Plato

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#452574 - 11/05/13 03:52 PM Re: The Age of My Tears [Re: SamV]
BuffaloCO Offline


Registered: 07/14/12
Posts: 432
Loc: USA
I do like this quote, which maybe fits the spirit of the thread better:

"There is sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and unspeakable love." - Washington Irving
_________________________
“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark. The real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” - Plato

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#452582 - 11/05/13 05:13 PM Re: The Age of My Tears [Re: SamV]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3488
Loc: somewhere in Africa
In Frank Herbert's classic sci ti novel, Dune, the greatest tribute and honor that one could give to another was to weep for him. It was a desert planet where water was very scarce and precious and all body secretions were recycled. Weeping was called "giving water."

In weeping for or as our childhood self we give credence, honor, and love to him as a wounded survivor. Sometimes I have found it easier to weep for my brother survivors than for or as myself.

You are so right on this, Sam.
LEE
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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