Newest Members
GKB, MorganWut, myrlin, AaronS, BookHouseBoy
12465 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
cyrus (44), Dupe1978 (36), James_Is_Talking (36), K-man (58), LordShiningStarr (36), ricky (51), Shawn Hope (29), teresa (42), Warner82 (32)
Who's Online
5 registered (Obi, 4 invisible), 19 Guests and 6 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12465 Members
74 Forums
63998 Topics
446700 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Topic Options
#452120 - 11/01/13 12:24 AM Because
SayItRight Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/06/13
Posts: 68
[Sorry, put this post up, took it down, putting it back now. You guys here inspire me and you make it worth my taking this risk].

When I originally posted this poem, I offered it as an expression of thanks to so many of you. That remains. Here's the poem. It is called "Because."

POSSIBLE TRIGGER WARNINGS.


Because I have seen you walking here,
I write this: what I know, what I don't know.

What I know
Lies inside me
Blades splayed into my chest.
- When my heart would swell,
- When I would take a deep breath,
Even then, I'm cut.

When I try to speak it,
It shreds through my throat
And tears my tongue into tatters.

And I've seen what it does once it's out:
- It cuts off hearing's ears,
- It carves up the faces of friends,
Turning them
Into something wholly
Unrecognizable.

It refuses to stay inside.

And so it is that I'm bleeding again,
And so it is that I'm all alone.

What it is that I don't know,
- That I can't know,
- That I always told myself I'd never let myself
Know that I know,
That lies everywhere - all around me.
That is everywhere I look.

And when the night is darkest,
Even then what it is that I don't know
Comes, and paints it darker still.

It refuses to stay outside.

I close my eyes not to see it
And I find it written even there,
Stitched into my lids:
The one story I've never wanted to read.

And so I open my eyes.
And so I close my eyes.
And so I open my eyes.
And so I close my eyes.

And hours pass.

And so it is I'm not sleeping again.
And so it is that I'm all alone.

The sun rises.
I see its light first in your face.

"Stand up!" the sun says,
"Just beyond the next turn in the earth
There is a land. The people there
Speak your native language,
And, in the closeness of their embrace,
They feel all it is you might otherwise say.

In the fields outside their villages
There are mounds: rounded piles of
Discarded, dull, and rusty blades.
And they wear an armor on
Their ears and faces:
The armor is called 'I know.'

Each one carries a lantern.
Each lantern is lit, night or day.
Word has it they smile.
The truth is, they cry just as well.
They wait for you.
Go."

And because I have seen you reading this,
I stand up and I walk.

And so it is that I'm walking,
And so it is that I'm not only alone.

And is this right, that now this
Is what I know and what I don't know:
That each step takes me closer to that turn in the earth?
Or is it...
Yes.
Or is it this: is it that I'm already there?


Edited by SayItRight (11/01/13 06:28 AM)
Edit Reason: Deleted then reposted

Top
#452129 - 11/01/13 06:23 AM Re: Because [Re: SayItRight]
SayItRight Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/06/13
Posts: 68
.


Edited by SayItRight (11/01/13 06:28 AM)
Edit Reason: reposted the poem

Top
#452137 - 11/01/13 08:20 AM Re: Because [Re: SayItRight]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3488
Loc: somewhere in Africa
wow - you sure said it well that time. i don't know if it is what you wanted to say - but it really spoke to me and for me. i felt and feel it deeply. brought tears.
thank you for contributing.
you belong. i belong.
we all belong.
LEE
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


Top
#452489 - 11/04/13 07:23 PM Re: Because [Re: SayItRight]
kasper Offline


Registered: 09/08/13
Posts: 15
i echo the comment before mine- wow...
this is powerful and so well written
thanks for sharing your poem

Top
#452511 - 11/05/13 05:25 AM Re: Because [Re: SayItRight]
SayItRight Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/06/13
Posts: 68
Kasper and Lee:

I take a lot of encouragement from your words and really appreciate it. I don't know what reaction I expected (I know a few a feared).

That each of you said thanks for what I shared: that surprised me. This is a different way for me of expressing myself - I have my issues with a lot of ways of expressing myself. That you guys met me there really means a lot.

I look forward to catching up with you both more on the forums.

Top
#452682 - 11/06/13 01:47 PM Re: Because [Re: SayItRight]
Andre960 Offline


Registered: 11/01/13
Posts: 9
Loc: Ontario Canada
Thank you, your heart names the nameless agony of my soul, I don't know if I will ever be free, but your writing this has allowed tears to flow in recognition and for this moment ... A little room to "breath". These last few days of embracing the life stories of men have impacted me deeply, I am struggling to keep my head above water - so to speak.. I might need to draw back a little but, your words convince me 1). That not only am I not alone, I am in good company!
So again, thank you.

Top
#452746 - 11/07/13 03:54 AM Re: Because [Re: SayItRight]
SayItRight Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/06/13
Posts: 68
Andre,
I never thought that what I was saying here would ever do anything similar to, as you so sharply expressed it, naming someone else's experience.

That is amazing to me.

I have had a pretty tough time with somethings myself lately, I can relate somewhat to what you say about keeping your head above water. Glad to hear the site works to help you see you are not alone. I find the same to be true in ways that continue to make a very real difference.

I hope you continue to experience more good company and more healing on the site. Thanks for your comments here.

Top
#461368 - 02/24/14 01:13 AM Re: Because [Re: SayItRight]
morgan662 Offline


Registered: 01/13/14
Posts: 13
Loc: New York City
I majored in English and would not have blinked twice if that was in a poetry textbook.
_________________________
“We have to continually be jumping off cliffs and developing our wings on the way down.”
Kurt Vonnegut

Top


Moderator:  ModTeam 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.