Your frightened feelings are understandable. As you probably know, they won't go away, no matter how good the vacation is.
What you might want to consider is what is the starting place for rebuilding? That would seem to be a good question for any of us who are considering doing this in a place where devastation has occurred. My own thoughts are that starting places have to have the feeling of being ungoverned but are not necessarily without boundaries. Two people who might have a chance at some kind of understanding across a fearful divide need to have the freedom to explore what the territory is, as well as what the boundaries might be.
If you have a sense of your own starting place, even if it is a kind of small expectation, that might help. For instance, you might ask yourself, if I begin to speak about sensitive subjects, how much listening would be a beginning of something? Is just knowing that someone is listening enough? Is a response required? If there was one thing that you wanted to say and be heard, what would it be? Can you carefully consider what is reasonable enough to hope for without setting yourself up for disappointment and added mistrust?
I'm thinking about this in my own family. Ultimately, I will probably have to take the lead, as they are bit clueless but not necessarily unresponsive.
Thanks for sharing your concern and the meaning of brave steps.
Lose the drama; life is a poem.