This all makes me feel so sad and so exhausted. I've been trying to figure myself out since I was 20, I'm now 64. I only began remembering the abuse from my father at age 53 and the abuse from my mother shortly before I turned 64. I haven't been able to be with people successfully for many years and have been a hermit, but am now starting to come out of hiding. I moved through a lot of stuff as a hermit, through a lot of the abuse, through an enormous amount of terror and rage. It has taken all of that to get to where I am now--sad, exhausted, but with some new skills I developed while in hiding. I emailed a therapist a week ago. He is someone I saw once 7 years ago while in a major crisis. I liked him. He emailed me back that he was leaving town for 12 days and would respond to me when he gets back in town. Reading your experiences of therapy and the burn victim scenario make a lot of sense to me. One part of me thinks O Shit! I have never been in therapy for my abuse issues. The 25 years I was in therapy (off and on) were for anything I could try to figure out in an effort to make sense of my life. While I still feel like O Shit, I also feel a small light of understanding and optimism inside. Dealing directly and specifically with a therapist regarding my sexual abuse, physical abuse, and torture is quite possibly the means to a major breakthrough in a lifetime of handicap for me. Thank all of you for your inputs. This is very deep water, and your support makes it much more possible for me.
Divine Law is not judgment or denial of self truths. Divine Law is honoring harmony that comes from a peaceful mind, an open heart, a true tongue, a light step, a forgiving nature, and a love of all living creatures. Jamie Sams & David Carson, Medicine Cards