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#451275 - 10/25/13 02:31 PM I had a set back this week
Lost Mountain Offline

Registered: 12/05/12
Posts: 47
Loc: Atlanta
My back and leg has been hurting me and my wife suggested I go see her Chiropractic. Well I did and I was feeling ok about the whole thing but then he had me lay on his table on my belly and started to adjust me and I started to panic I could hear him say "this might hurt a little" and I just started crying. In my mind I jumped of the table and floored him but that did not happen. When he was done I just grabbed my stuff and left. Now all this week I have been having nightmares and all the other feeling creeping back. It truly sucks!! I know I can get through this but I don't right now

#451276 - 10/25/13 02:38 PM Re: I had a set back this week [Re: Lost Mountain]
Obi Online   content

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1309
Loc: kansas
Kind of the same thing happened to me a few years ago when I got my first hernia check. I know it needed to be done, but the whole time I was wanting to crawl out of my skin. After it was over I quickly walked out, got in my car and bawled. Took me a while to calm down enough to where I could drive home and hide in my bed for the rest of the day. Had a hard time of it for about a week.
live another day. climb a little higher.

my story

my vlog

#451290 - 10/25/13 06:16 PM ! [Re: Lost Mountain]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217

Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (02/28/14 10:17 PM)

#451315 - 10/26/13 01:56 AM Re: I had a set back this week [Re: Lost Mountain]
Dave PNW Offline

Registered: 04/03/13
Posts: 111
Loc: Pacific Northwest
Hey Lost Mountain. I am sorry that visit to the Chiropractor was such a powerful trigger. Four years ago I went to see a Chiropractor to help me heal a lower back injury. At that time I hadn't really started to process my CSA, but it was there in the background. I can relate to the panic you felt. I dissociated on the table by trying to step out of my body for a while. I was being pinned and manipulated and touched and some of it hurt. I wasn't prepared to give up control of my body. I didn't know what was going to come next. I hadn't been controlled like that since my abuse. This was so not what I was expecting when I went in there. I knew intellectually what was going to happen, but that was so much different than having it done to me.

It did help my injury and I had a rapid recovery. Was paddling my kayak in a week, but the fear was so palpable. I still remember. Sorry you are going through this.

I have read that our body retains memories, especially our muscles. It's our nervous system probably more than the muscle fibers. The action of manipulating and deep touching can release and trigger these memories. I have heard of the use of massage therapy to try to release traumatic physical memories. I am sorry you suffered through this so unexpectedly. Hopefully this released some things you need to process. Even though it's painful and frightening you will through this. It sucks. Hang in there. Heal well.

#451333 - 10/26/13 10:47 AM Re: I had a set back this week [Re: Lost Mountain]
BraveFalcon Offline

Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1096
Loc: The ATL

Hi LM. Sorry to hear about this. Try not to see what happened in that Chiropractor's office as a "setback" though. I certainly don't see it that way. It was a triggering event and something that you dealt with and now sound like you're moving past. It was what it was and it happens. You're ok now. You didn't fail at anything or do anything wrong so, to me, that means it wasn't a "setback", just an unfortunate incident. You're ok man.

For myself, I've always had a lot of anxiety being handled by a chiropractor the few times I've been. I don't guess the ways I'm being touched in those sessions necessarily relate to the way in which I was touched in my childhood but I always freak out a little when someone's fucking around with my body and/or touching me in what feels like intimate ways. Also, I've had more then one person massage me, (never professionally), and tell me that I was the most tense person they've ever put their hands on. Not that I really even found those massages triggering per say, but all that tension they were feeling comes from somewhere and I know that's all about CSA related issues. Peace,


#451621 - 10/28/13 07:37 PM Re: I had a set back this week [Re: Lost Mountain]
gettingstronger Offline

Registered: 09/24/13
Posts: 154
Loc: Virginia
Hi LM. I can definitely relate! I had a vasectomy a few years ago and it was definitely REALLY uncomfortable. The surgery part was ok (albeit somewhat painful) but having someone I don't know down there was creepy. Sorry it freaked you out. Sounds like you're moving past it, though. You're doing fine.
Don't let "three steps forward and two steps back" bother you. Thirty steps forward and twenty back are still ten steps in the right direction.


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