My name is Erik and I am a Swedish guy, perhaps the only one in this group, don't know.
Anyway, I have joined this group cause I desperately need lots of support and people to write to who have similar experiences and who are dealing with problems like mine. I have understood that my reactions are quite normal. This is a very big help. How have I understood that? The answer is there are many others feeling the same way.
I have always been the guy standing on the sideline, or behind the fence, observing others living the life I cannot take part of, or dare not. There is so much shame, distrust, and fear and problems concerning who I am and who I am not.
My father molested me and he screwed up my world.
I am not gay, and yes I admit I am scared of gay men. I still need to handle them in my mind.
However, my point is, that I am not judgemental. And my reason, ratio, tells me that gay people are not perps. I know that. My dad was not gay, he was a pedophile, that is an enormous difference.
I hope you will get help here.