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#451322 - 10/26/13 08:25 AM difficulty with coping
Obi Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1248
Loc: kansas
went to the hospital, after work, yesterday to visit a friend of mine. he didn't look good... in fact, he was suffering.

for the past few months he's been fighting cancer. up until almost 2 weeks ago he was doing great. however, the cancer came back aggressively and spread. it's gone to his kidneys, back and esophagus.

he's dying... right before my eyes laid a dear friend of mine in a hospital bed in pain. he was hooked up to an iv that was giving him pain meds, but you could tell he was still hurting...

as of the time I was there, he didn't know that he had a short time left. what he knew was that he is going to get another round of chemo on Monday and if that didn't work that they would send him down to Houston on nov. 8th. that's what he knew.

what they told his wife is that he probably wouldn't make it to nov. 8th...

he's only 38... with 5 kids... one in the military, another just started college, 2 in high school and the youngest is in junior high.

yes, I know that cancer can strike at any age. just feel so bad that he still had so many years left and it's been cut short...

add into the mix that my mom also has cancer, for the 4th time, and there isn't much time left with her either. in fact, she just had her last treatment last week. she goes in on Halloween to have a bunch of tests/scans done and on the first part of November she finds out how much time she has left. whether it be 1 week or 1 year....

plus, my grandma, has been having a lot of rough days lately too. she's been getting mini-strokes lately. grant it, she's 94 and has lived a long life. however, my thoughts are that i'll be going to 3 funerals soon..

I've already lost a dear dear friend of mine, pbert here on ms, some months ago... just having difficulty with knowing that i'm going to lose another dear friend here within days, and highly likely my mom and grandma...

feel that all 3 of them won't be there for my wedding.....

*cries*.....

not sure what to do right now.
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#451324 - 10/26/13 09:00 AM Re: difficulty with coping [Re: Obi]
don64 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/13
Posts: 358
Loc: St. Croix, USVI
Hi Obi,

I cannot know what you are going through or the depth of your feelings. I do, however, send you love and support from my heart. You are in my thoughts. Don

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#451400 - 10/27/13 01:31 AM Re: difficulty with coping [Re: Obi]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6317
Loc: 2 NATO Nations
You have all this and more on your plate. ANYONE would be overwhelmed by all this. Its OK to not be bouncing around in life, handling these tough trials like they are normal. They ARE normal on occasion. This is one of those times that you have far too much.

The losses are painful...very painful. The load on you is painful.

My methods of getting through horror as a kid is no longer valid or helpful. Today however, I can be thankful for anyone IN my life whom I would mourn their passing or sickness. In other words; you've got special people in their life, and they have you in their lives. Imagine otherwise.

Not saying yer lucky to have this...but you HAVE been blessed with people with whom YOU are important.
_________________________
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#451405 - 10/27/13 03:10 AM Re: difficulty with coping [Re: Obi]
don64 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/13
Posts: 358
Loc: St. Croix, USVI
Dear Obi,

One of the my goals of recovery is to recover the ability to feel as deeply as you seem to be feeling right now. My feeling switch is still not really very on. It seems to me that the apparent depth of your feelings of the soon to be losses of people you love is a sign of the deepness of your love. It is painful right now, but it is also a great gift. Thank you for sharing. Don

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#451532 - 10/28/13 08:31 AM Re: difficulty with coping [Re: don64]
Obi Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1248
Loc: kansas
Originally Posted By: Still
You have all this and more on your plate. ANYONE would be overwhelmed by all this. Its OK to not be bouncing around in life, handling these tough trials like they are normal. They ARE normal on occasion. This is one of those times that you have far too much.

The losses are painful...very painful. The load on you is painful.

My methods of getting through horror as a kid is no longer valid or helpful. Today however, I can be thankful for anyone IN my life whom I would mourn their passing or sickness. In other words; you've got special people in their life, and they have you in their lives. Imagine otherwise.

Not saying yer lucky to have this...but you HAVE been blessed with people with whom YOU are important.



thanks still. you are correct on this. I also hope you know that you are blessed the same way too...

I hate this waiting game, though. I don't like that some of my thoughts have been that God please end his suffering... I don't want him to die, but it's difficult to know that he's suffering so much..

Originally Posted By: don64
Dear Obi,

One of the my goals of recovery is to recover the ability to feel as deeply as you seem to be feeling right now. My feeling switch is still not really very on. It seems to me that the apparent depth of your feelings of the soon to be losses of people you love is a sign of the deepness of your love. It is painful right now, but it is also a great gift. Thank you for sharing. Don


thanks, don. yes, friends and family I do hold very deep in my heart. I do care deeply and love deeply... I hope that some day you reach the same goal.
_________________________
live another day. climb a little higher.

my story

my vlog

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#451559 - 10/28/13 11:52 AM Re: difficulty with coping [Re: Obi]
petercorbett Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2430
Loc: TEXAS
(((obi))),

What can i say? I know about your pain about all of these things going on around you.

It takes great courage to see others in grave situations like friends & a parent slowly dying infront of you and offer them a glimmer of love & hope.
I'm sure it hurts & you sometimes wonder why God lets these things happen. To ones we came to love & care for.

All that i can offer to you my brother, is the only thing i own besides my name, and that is.............................
My compassion, my understanding, my hope & my love.
In trying to console your hurts & pain.

Be safe and be kind & gentle on yourself.
Prayers, concern & love, my brother Todd.

"I will take that lost boys hand, and i will lead him from the depths of darkness, into the sunshine, forever into eternity." As he is me.
Pete..Irishmoose.
_________________________
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
____________________________________________________________
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.


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#451564 - 10/28/13 12:27 PM Re: difficulty with coping [Re: Obi]
Obi Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1248
Loc: kansas
thanks, moose...

I know you care very much too....

just a lot going on and feeling very overwhelmed right now and very helpless...


Edited by Obi (10/28/13 12:27 PM)
_________________________
live another day. climb a little higher.

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#451603 - 10/28/13 05:56 PM ! [Re: Obi]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
!


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (02/28/14 10:22 PM)

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#451686 - 10/29/13 10:32 AM Re: difficulty with coping [Re: Obi]
Obi Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1248
Loc: kansas
he's only got a couple days, max, left.. if that...

they are basically keeping him alive until his two oldest kids come back, hopefully today.

one is in the military and they did give him a leave to come to see his dad. the other just started college this year...
_________________________
live another day. climb a little higher.

my story

my vlog

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#451694 - 10/29/13 10:56 AM Re: difficulty with coping [Re: Obi]
SamV Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5925
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
I acutely feel this loss in your share Obi, the loss of such a good person, important in so many lives, feels wrong. I trust you are getting the support you need as you move towards your happy day fellow survivor. Please feel the support here as well,

Sam
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