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#451181 - 10/24/13 01:15 PM some thoughts
Obi Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1288
Loc: kansas
been going over a lot of things in my life recently... many changes happening. biggest of course is my engagement. it seems that any big changes in life i go through a lot of internal thought. introspection, if you will. it's happened many times before, including when i got my abuse memories back... wow! talk about a major upheaval that was...

what i've realized is that when all of those memories came back, and i couldn't put them back, what i became was real. welcome to real world. no more hiding behind the walls and masks... this is me.. this is the whole naked me...

AHHHHHH!!!! truly horrifying.....

it was like the movie the matrix where neo takes the pill and is unplugged. comes face to face with the real world instead of living in the matrix... the matrix was my world... then my abuse memories ( the pill ) unplugged me to it... i awoke to the real world.. much more terrifying, yet real and honest...

how do i make my way through this?!?!?!?!

i did my best.. taking one step at a time... it was like walking through a HUGE minefield, never knowing when you were going to step on a mine. man, did i ever step on many mines and still do from time to time....

i've since learned that no matter what, i was going to step on a mine or two or three. in fact, there are some areas that i needed to go through that required me to actually setting a mine off... it was the only way to get through it. it helped me to learn... in some ways, some of those mines were necessary to set off...

what i've also found is that there are many others, like me, trying to navigate through this field... all very compassionate people, willing to stick their hands out to help each other through it...

i then look at the others around me, society that is, that is still hooked up like in the matrix.. oblivious to us and if any one of us tries to make them aware we get blasted by them.

how can we continue to survive when society doesn't have compassion for us? they have more compassion for an almost extinct species of plant than they do for those of us who've been abused...

i then have to remind myself that we are the trailblazers. that this is still new to society. even though it's been around since practically day one, it's only been relevant to society here lately...

it's like when aids first hit nationwide.. so little information. so many myths. society was afraid. didn't want anyone or anything like it around them. much like abuse survivors.. all based on misinformation and myths...

as much as it sucks, we are the ones that have to blaze the trail for all of those survivors behind us... to make things easier for them... we have to take all the hits, denials, rejections and so on from society until more and more of the truth gets out there.

as much as i want to be accepted and not treated like complete garbage in society, i know that i won't get as much of that. however, i do get a great feeling knowing that the crap that i'll take, the pain that i go through, is going to help all of those behind me who will be walking that path that i helped carve out for them to have an easier recovery with the end result being sexual abuse totally eradicated....
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#451188 - 10/24/13 04:20 PM Re: some thoughts [Re: Obi]
Rich1967 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/17/13
Posts: 270
Loc: PA
Well said Obi. Thanks for fighting the good fight. I will do my part as well. I think we need to be more open about it and willing to talk to others. Every once in a while you find someone who's willing to unplug and listen and spread the word. The pain to find them is worth it.

Anytime you need a hand let me know.
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Rich

"Me too" - I don't think I will ever get tired of saying or hearing these two words.

My Story:
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=441625#Post441625

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#451191 - 10/24/13 04:46 PM Re: some thoughts [Re: Obi]
Obi Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1288
Loc: kansas
Appreciate it, rich.

right now I do believe we need to continue to help our brother, flightmedic. We need to fill him with as much hope and compassion as possible to keep him on the road to his recovery.

he's saved many lives. Let's help to save his.
_________________________
live another day. climb a little higher.

my story

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#451197 - 10/24/13 06:11 PM ! [Re: Obi]
Smalltown80sBoy Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/25/12
Posts: 2217
!


Edited by Smalltown80sBoy (02/28/14 10:18 PM)

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#451299 - 10/25/13 07:59 PM Re: some thoughts [Re: Obi]
flightmedic38 Offline


Registered: 09/13/13
Posts: 78
Loc: Kansas
Both of you have already done more for me than I could ever repay you for...


Thank you for being my brothers

Flight
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Either get to living or get to dying!!!!! Shawshank redemption

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