I hate money. I hate having to spend it on me. I hate feeling that my loved ones get less because I have needs.
That's all I got at the moment, but it is not a little thing. Feeling like I am a burden and a drain is eating me up inside. I can't stop thinking about post-apocalyptic films I've seen, where the sick person just walks off into the wilderness rather than be continue to be a drain on the community's resources.
_________________________
Like a spent gladiator
crawling in the colosseum dust
who can count on his remaining limbs
all the people he can trust.
Like the one who stands behind him
cheering him on
Estatic when he stands defiant,
wild with abandon when he's gone

just stay alive.
do whatever you need to.
you are worth it.