There is a new group that started today ;a gay group called
I went there and we startd sharing. And i shared that i
have endured alot of abuse. And then i felt safe to say that i have been sexually abused.
There was a guy who shared stuff that was
very helpful, respectful , to me and very profound .
Prior to taking a break , the facilitator asked if she could
speak to me? And i said sure.
AS we talked i realized that i wasnt sure if i was a boy.
And then i changed my plans after and went to the Men`s Resource Center.
When i entered a guy came out soon after and he was the same
guy who scared me bit when i saw him a couple years back
when i said to him in his office " i dont want to be gay".
He responded " i am worried , when you say you dont want to be
I left then.
And now i returned and i asked a few questions and then he
asked me " do you need something to be looked at , now? i
dont want to leave you high and dry" .
So , i asked him or said ,actually that" i went thru sexual
abuse and that it is getting in the way of my life. "
This center is relocating.
And he said that i can get into an ` Empowering program`and
there is always room but that the waiting list is long to
get into any workshops and that i have to go into the Empowering program first and the Empowering program doesnt
start till November 25.
I am sooooooooooo exhausted of this.
I hope God can help me get my finances in order.
I will never love my father or his family,,ever, ever ,ever.
And i hate it that i have to talk to myself to get thru days
I even imagined typing in a fake obituary just so anyone
who cares or cared about me can tell my dad`s family that
goran died. and then i can get my rear in Toronto.
I got to go.
I am so bored and now i feel dumb for going to a flick by