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#450999 - 10/22/13 04:56 PM shitty identity. because of my sick family
Sterling Offline


Registered: 10/25/08
Posts: 269
Loc: Winnipeg, Manitoba,Canada
There is a new group that started today ;a gay group called
"Living Well"
I went there and we startd sharing. And i shared that i
have endured alot of abuse. And then i felt safe to say that i have been sexually abused.
There was a guy who shared stuff that was
very helpful, respectful , to me and very profound .
Prior to taking a break , the facilitator asked if she could
speak to me? And i said sure.
AS we talked i realized that i wasnt sure if i was a boy.
And then i changed my plans after and went to the Men`s Resource Center.
When i entered a guy came out soon after and he was the same
guy who scared me bit when i saw him a couple years back
when i said to him in his office " i dont want to be gay".
He responded " i am worried , when you say you dont want to be
gay".
I left then.
And now i returned and i asked a few questions and then he
asked me " do you need something to be looked at , now? i
dont want to leave you high and dry" .
So , i asked him or said ,actually that" i went thru sexual
abuse and that it is getting in the way of my life. "
This center is relocating.
And he said that i can get into an ` Empowering program`and
there is always room but that the waiting list is long to
get into any workshops and that i have to go into the Empowering program first and the Empowering program doesnt
start till November 25.
I am sooooooooooo exhausted of this.
I hope God can help me get my finances in order.
I will never love my father or his family,,ever, ever ,ever.
And i hate it that i have to talk to myself to get thru days
like today.
I even imagined typing in a fake obituary just so anyone
who cares or cared about me can tell my dad`s family that
goran died. and then i can get my rear in Toronto.
I got to go.
I am so bored and now i feel dumb for going to a flick by
myself tonight.

Goran

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#451007 - 10/22/13 06:55 PM Re: shitty identity. because of my sick family [Re: Sterling]
don64 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/13
Posts: 581
Loc: St. Croix, USVI
Hi Goran,

I'm 64 and have a very sick family, too. It's taken me so long to see just how severely sexual abuse distorts me and stretches my ability to see myself so out of shape. It's taken my this long to begin to glimpse a MAYBE there is a me inside myself that is really likable and lovable. I hope you can reach inside and just know that there is a healthy and intact you inside. It may take persistence and time to reconnect with that place. Knowing this about myself helps me get through tough times when I find optimism difficult to find. I can't know what you need, but I am sending you love and good will....Don
_________________________
Divine Law is not judgment or denial of self truths. Divine Law is honoring harmony that comes from a peaceful mind, an open heart, a true tongue, a light step, a forgiving nature, and a love of all living creatures. Jamie Sams & David Carson, Medicine Cards

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#451121 - 10/23/13 09:07 PM Re: shitty identity. because of my sick family [Re: don64]
Sterling Offline


Registered: 10/25/08
Posts: 269
Loc: Winnipeg, Manitoba,Canada
thanka my man , you are the best.!!!

hug to ya
Goran

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