Newest Members
lilac, The Wife Of, smusab, whiteflag, North101
12287 Registered Users
Today's Birthdays
cyclebreaker (41), monkeybusinessinky (28), Tom Byrnes (55), wind west (30)
Who's Online
3 registered (Obi, mikeg, 1 invisible), 27 Guests and 3 Spiders online.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Forum Stats
12287 Members
73 Forums
63219 Topics
442055 Posts

Max Online: 418 @ 07/02/12 07:29 AM
Twitter
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >
Topic Options
#450877 - 10/21/13 08:22 PM Here is what not to do
flightmedic38 Offline


Registered: 09/13/13
Posts: 78
Loc: Kansas
DO NOT google earth the house you were abused in..... frown
_________________________
Either get to living or get to dying!!!!! Shawshank redemption

Top
#450886 - 10/21/13 09:19 PM Re: Here is what not to do [Re: flightmedic38]
Suwanee Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 695
Loc: Southeast USA
FlightMedic38,

Believe me, I know about such things. I have a habit of "inoculating" myself with small does of unpleasant things with the hopes of being better prepared to take on the larger "thing."

Some report that it's helpful...and even a step toward actually visiting the site. I've looked up satellite imagery of the camp and found it unsettling, but nothing too bad. I was in the right frame of mind I suppose. I guess the point is to REALLY know where you are in addressing your issues before diving into this. If you have a T, make sure you discuss it with them first. He/she may or may not advise doing it.


Will
_________________________
Cruel Summer
My Journal

-Signs and traces left in stone
Ruins of a past unknown-

Top
#450890 - 10/21/13 09:59 PM Re: Here is what not to do [Re: flightmedic38]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6376
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
Yeah...I waited years before I googleEarthed the place. but now I do it on occasion. Its not something to do unless you KNOW you are ready.
_________________________
Jesus Loves The Hell Outta Me!

Still's Globs

New Video

Top
#450891 - 10/21/13 10:01 PM Re: Here is what not to do [Re: flightmedic38]
flightmedic38 Offline


Registered: 09/13/13
Posts: 78
Loc: Kansas
Will
Well I should have discussed with my T first, I guess you live and learn.. It really upset me. Going to try and put in the box until my T session.. Not sure that will work but........Going to try
_________________________
Either get to living or get to dying!!!!! Shawshank redemption

Top
#450892 - 10/21/13 10:03 PM Re: Here is what not to do [Re: flightmedic38]
flightmedic38 Offline


Registered: 09/13/13
Posts: 78
Loc: Kansas
Still,
Very dumb move on my part... Just hoping for a nightmare free night...
_________________________
Either get to living or get to dying!!!!! Shawshank redemption

Top
#450897 - 10/21/13 10:23 PM Re: Here is what not to do [Re: flightmedic38]
Bill61 Offline


Registered: 09/29/13
Posts: 41
Loc: Illinois
On my way down to the weekend of recovery, I drove past the school were I was abused and I said I beat you guys. On the way home, I drove past the school and I didn't even say anything and no past feelings came up. I left my past at the WoR and working on living moment to moment.

Bill61
_________________________
Small Stones
"Those who remove mountains begin by carrying away small stones"

"I am in charge of how I fell and I choose HAPPINESS" from The Law of Attraction.

Top
#450899 - 10/21/13 10:36 PM Re: Here is what not to do [Re: flightmedic38]
flightmedic38 Offline


Registered: 09/13/13
Posts: 78
Loc: Kansas
That is great Bill, I hope to be at a point to do WOR in the future... Great Job!!!!!!!!
_________________________
Either get to living or get to dying!!!!! Shawshank redemption

Top
#451020 - 10/22/13 10:00 PM Re: Here is what not to do [Re: flightmedic38]
BraveFalcon Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/25/13
Posts: 1093
Loc: The ATL
Hi FlightMedic38. I Google earthed the place where I was first molested. It was a patch of woods outside of the apartment complex in CT where my family lived at the time. (I was in 2nd grade.) Now those woods are gone and there is a subdivision there. When I saw that, I was somehow relieved and saddened at the same time. I do not know why. Peace,

Ken


Edited by BraveFalcon (10/22/13 10:01 PM)

Top
#451046 - 10/23/13 04:22 AM Re: Here is what not to do [Re: BraveFalcon]
Jacob S Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/01/13
Posts: 592
Originally Posted By: BraveFalcon
Now those woods are gone and there is a subdivision there. When I saw that, I was somehow relieved and saddened at the same time. I do not know why.


The summer camp where some of my abuse took place changed hands and none of the original buildings are still standing. Its nice to know that the people running it now are not in any way connected to the original camp leaders, but it having changed so much means even if I did ever get around to visiting the land I don't think it would confirm my memories. I'm glad the buildings and the original owners are gone but I feel like I missed a chance at investigating my past.
_________________________
Like a spent gladiator
crawling in the colosseum dust
who can count on his remaining limbs
all the people he can trust.
Like the one who stands behind him
cheering him on
Estatic when he stands defiant,
wild with abandon when he's gone

just stay alive.
do whatever you need to.
you are worth it.

Top
#451089 - 10/23/13 01:09 PM Re: Here is what not to do [Re: flightmedic38]
Neighbor Offline


Registered: 08/23/09
Posts: 8
Loc: California
Thankfully the house has been torn down and evidence it was ever there is now gone.

What it's taken me years to see is that my rolling over to authority, even when I know I'm right, has been based on abuse and my resignation to failure to protect myself and fear to tell my story to anyone for the same reason - fear.

Not that it makes any difference today, but there have been a number of times I've just taken things when I should have been my own best advocate to expose the truth against false accusers and liars.

How do I get over this issue? Any suggestions?
_________________________
Re examine all you've been told.
Reject that which offends your soul.
http://www.onediscipletoanother.org

Top
#451090 - 10/23/13 01:11 PM Re: Here is what not to do [Re: flightmedic38]
flightmedic38 Offline


Registered: 09/13/13
Posts: 78
Loc: Kansas
Braver men than I,
I don't ever want to see that house again!!!!!! Thanks for posting though it helps to know how other men deal......

Flight
_________________________
Either get to living or get to dying!!!!! Shawshank redemption

Top
#451114 - 10/23/13 07:47 PM Re: Here is what not to do [Re: flightmedic38]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3321
Loc: somewhere in Africa
Flight -

last August i went back to the house and 2 schools where most of the abuse was done to me. i felt i was as prepared as i could be but wondered if i would be able to go through with it. i had been through about 20 months of pretty intense therapy and had brought support along on the trip - my very encouraging wife.

i was visiting my brother who still lives in the area and was leaving his place at the end of our visit - wondering if i should go back to the scenes or not - when i was suddenly seized by a compulsion to see it through. i felt like it was inevitable and i just HAD to do it. (i posted about it in another thread.) it was not easy but i did it - and in the process reclaimed some lost ground. i have felt much stronger since then - and the memories have lost a lot of their power over me.

for others it might be different - i think a lot of my positive outcome was in the preparation and timing.

i hope you will be able to overcome the effects of your experiences - whether you ever go back there or not. it may be enough to get to the point where you know you don't need to go back.

LEE


Edited by traveler (10/23/13 07:49 PM)
_________________________
We are often troubled, but not crushed;
sometimes in doubt, but never in despair;
there are many enemies, but we are never without a friend;
and though badly hurt at times, we are not destroyed.
- Paul, II Cor 4:8-9

Top
#451120 - 10/23/13 09:04 PM Re: Here is what not to do [Re: flightmedic38]
flightmedic38 Offline


Registered: 09/13/13
Posts: 78
Loc: Kansas
Lee,
I am so happy for you.... I am pretty sure at this point that I will never ever go back to that place..But for some I am sure it is very Liberating......


Flight
_________________________
Either get to living or get to dying!!!!! Shawshank redemption

Top
#451149 - 10/24/13 01:07 AM Re: Here is what not to do [Re: flightmedic38]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1488
Loc: New England
I had found the place of my abuse on Google Earth some time ago. I studied it for hours, wanting to see every detail, remember everything facet. It was painful, but it was what I needed to do.
I have never gone back.
_________________________
"But now old friends are acting strange,
they shake their heads, they say I've changed.
Something's lost but something's gained in living every day
....it's life's illusions I recall, I really don't know life at all. "
Joni Mitchell

Top
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >


Moderator:  ModTeam, TJ jeff 

I agree that my access and use of the MaleSurvivor discussion forums and chat room is subject to the terms of this Agreement. AND the sole discretion of MaleSurvivor.
I agree that my use of MaleSurvivor resources are AT-WILL, and that my posting privileges may be terminated at any time, and for any reason by MaleSurvivor.