yeah, Chris -
dealing with it on our own doesn't work - and neither does forgetting - in the long run - as you have learned. and the confusion is perfectly understandable - a normal response to an abnormal situation.
and far from being alone - there are thousands of us in this same boat with you. welcome.
let us know how we can help.
There’s a special providence in the fall of a sparrow. If it be now, ’tis not to come. If it be not to come, it will be now. If it be not now, yet it will come—the readiness is all. - Hamlet, Act 5, sc 2