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#450613 - 10/19/13 09:12 AM Hoping it's not too late
jflay Offline

Registered: 10/13/13
Posts: 2
i'm over 60 and am starting to deal with the reasons my life hasn't turned out the way i wanted.

not ready to tell my story yet, if ever, but have been reading posts on this site and a lot of other sites and blogs for a few months. must mean i'm looking for help.

the posts on this site are very helpful and they pushed me to find the courage to say 'something'. so thank you to all of you who have said it out loud without fear. maybe one day i'll join you. for now, i'll just keep reading!

#450617 - 10/19/13 09:23 AM Re: Hoping it's not too late [Re: jflay]
Obi Offline

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1592
Loc: kansas
welcome to ms, jflay.

it's NEVER too late.

there are many men here that are your age and older. one of my dearest friends, I call him moose, is in his 70's. he started his recovery at the young age of 69 and he's doing really well.

he may post a reply to this thread as well to welcome you here to ms.

take your time. you know when you are ready to share more.
live another day. climb a little higher.

my story

my vlog

#450619 - 10/19/13 09:34 AM Re: Hoping it's not too late [Re: jflay]
BuffaloCO Offline

Registered: 07/14/12
Posts: 487
Loc: USA
Hi jflay,

Obi is right, it is never to late. I'm glad you found this site and that you are reading. I came here just over a year ago and since then I got in to counseling, have talked with people here, others in real life and am so much better now. People here have different stories but we share the hurts and pain from abuse no matter what the source, and with with that we can and do help each other. So welcome to the site brother! I really believe it is a good starting point and it can only get better.
“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark. The real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.” - Plato

#450622 - 10/19/13 10:15 AM Re: Hoping it's not too late [Re: jflay]
Still Offline

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 7011
Loc: FEMA Region 1
Your age is only significant to you, if you want it to be. Otherwise, I'm guessing you want to resolve and examine all the stuff in your mind about it. Never too late for that.

#450626 - 10/19/13 11:30 AM Re: Hoping it's not too late [Re: jflay]
petercorbett Offline

Registered: 07/27/08
Posts: 2504
Hi, my fraternal brother.

Welcome to MS. Here you will receive compassion, understanding, love & hope, from your brothers (fraternal) & friends (in pain).

We all have been there, into the depths of of our soul & hell too.

We, will hear your cries, we will help in your fears & we will share in your tears.

We all start our journey in recovery at different ages and in different ways.

I was 69 1/2 years old when i started, wondering why now? Why couldn't i have carried this to my grave. I'm too old, too fragile emotionally, mentally & physically. Why now?

I'll take an excerpt from the guide book, Victims No Longer, credit Mike Lew for this sentence.
" Finally, try not to berate yourself for not having done this sooner, or feel the task is hopeless. You couldn't have done it a minute earlier. You simply weren't ready."

MS has a lot to offer you on your journey, there are healing circles twice a week. You can come here in the public side & read others stories & somewhere you will find one simmilar to yours. There is a vast amount of wisdom & courage in those stories and perhaps they will be of a help to you. There is a chat site & you can even have a private chat with someone whom has your trust & confidence. You get to pick & chose bits & pieces of help that might pertain to you from your other fraternal brothers here.
Then there are those emotionally, mentally & physically exhausting Weekends of Recovery. (WoR's), they aren't for everyone, just another tool at our disposal on our journey in finding ourselfs.

There are numerous books at our disposal, you can either buy them or perhaps your local library has them for check out.
Here are a few that i have at my disposal.
Abused Boys, The neglected Victims of Sexual Abuse, by Mic Hunter.
Broken Boys/Mending Men, by Stephen D. Grubman-Black.
Victims No Longer, by Mike Lew (considered to be the bible in healing by some.)
Beyond Betrayal, by Richard B. Gartner,Ph.D.
Evicting the Perpetrator, by Ken Singer, MSW.
All excellent guide books & very overpowering as well.

So there you have it my fraternal brother jflay.

Be prepaired for the emotional roller coaster ride of your life.

For me in these past five years a young boy named Pete has taken me from the infinity of the heavens to the gate of hell & everywhere in between. I'm glad that i didn't take this to my grave, as i would have never known me.

Welcome aboard the journey to healing, you are on your way, my brother, jflay.

"I will take that lost boys hand, and I will lead him from the depths of darkness, into the sunshine, forever into eternity." As he is me.
Working Boys' Home 10-14 yrs old, grades 5-8. 1949-1953
A very humble alumni of the WOR Dahlonega, GA.
May 15-17 2009, Alta, Sep. 2009. Sequoia, 2010.
Hope Springs, 2010.

#450635 - 10/19/13 12:23 PM Re: Hoping it's not too late [Re: jflay]
victor-victim Offline

Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 5874
Loc: O Kanada
welcome. jflay.
glad you took the effort to speak up.

that took a lot of courage.

it is never too late to get better.
there is lots of life left to live.


#450638 - 10/19/13 12:31 PM Re: Hoping it's not too late [Re: jflay]
Zero Offline

Registered: 09/24/13
Posts: 48
Loc: Tennessee
[This user has left the site, post deleted]

Edited by Zero (04/26/15 11:20 PM)

#450689 - 10/19/13 11:06 PM Re: Hoping it's not too late [Re: jflay]
Jude Offline

Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1633
Loc: New England
Welcome Jflay,

There are lots of us around your age who are just starting to deal with what was done to us as boys. Take your time, and do it right. You will find the courage to open up and face it all. You've got all of us behind you.

Be well,

I will remember you
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by
Weep not for the memories
Sarah McLachlan

#450708 - 10/20/13 07:02 AM Re: Hoping it's not too late [Re: jflay]
jflay Offline

Registered: 10/13/13
Posts: 2
thanks everyone for all the supportive comments. i hope in time i can help support others too.

#450730 - 10/20/13 10:44 PM Re: Hoping it's not too late [Re: jflay]
genedebs Offline

Registered: 11/09/12
Posts: 303
Loc: MO
Hi Jflay,

I am 64. I have had a deep load to sift through and am only now accepting that I am not a monster if I let my feelings out, if I give up an inch of impulse control. For me the depression has finally lifted. I thought I was too old to be of use to me. But I have learned that the people here are welcoming nad safe.

Join us when and if you will

But welcome!

I believe:

We all have different stories AND we all are just the same.


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