I discovered this site a few months ago or so, during a deluge of memories and realizations.
I posted "part 1" of my story, got some good feedback (thankyou to those who pm'd and responded).
I put off writing part 2 because it seemed too hard to write. I went back into the land of denial (I know, it ain't a river in Egypt), but I guess that's been my coping strategy so it was easy to fall back into.
Anyway, recently I came back to the site, posted "part 2" in the Gay Survivors section. I've decided I need to find a therapist, try to work on getting better instead of just staying the same. Not sure how I'll find a therapist and pay for the help, in the meantime I try to check in here regularly just to sort of stop all that self-downing self-talk.
I just wanted to say "hi" and to thank everybody for their support. This site helps me realize I'm not alone, not crazy, and maybe things can get better.
Digging in the dirt
Stay with me I need support
I'm digging in the dirt
To find the places I got hurt
Open up the places I got hurt