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#450356 - 10/16/13 02:09 PM Re: I need opinions [Re: newground]
Jay1946 Offline


Registered: 08/08/13
Posts: 76
Loc: Miami, Florida, USA
Traveler's advice is right on. Matches my own experience.
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#450357 - 10/16/13 02:21 PM Re: I need opinions [Re: newground]
Castle Offline


Registered: 10/03/09
Posts: 727
Loc: NJ
Jeff,

I think there is a lot of honesty in what you write, and nobody can tell you what's best for you and your relationship.

If your asking me to be critical... your job in a relationship and marriage is to take care of each other in a way. Giving a partner an outlet to talk out feelings and life issues without " taking over" but I personally feel maybe she is " confusing" trust and vulnerability. Shes looking for insight into your woes.

It is possible to work on that without having to give out abuse details. One thing that is amazing about having a men's group in recovery is we don't need to bring everything to our spouse. My wife felt like a weight was taken off... she didn't have to figure it out. What I need to bring to her I do, but the ugly stuff/ men's issues ect...I bring to my posse with total vulnerability and acceptance. I don't talk details that's my boundary... it's not a secret, but there is some privacy.

I would have a talk too about the differences between secrecy v privacy.... trust v vulnerability.

I would mention again I like what you wrote and as always to go gentle on yourself. As gentle as you are to everybody else here.



Edited by Castle (10/16/13 06:29 PM)
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#450358 - 10/16/13 02:24 PM Re: I need opinions [Re: newground]
Castle Offline


Registered: 10/03/09
Posts: 727
Loc: NJ
btw... safe but uncomfortable is where the healing is.
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My posts can self destruct at any time..read them while you can.

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#450362 - 10/16/13 03:28 PM Re: I need opinions [Re: newground]
Obi Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/28/09
Posts: 1287
Loc: kansas
Agree with both of castle's posts.
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