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#448191 - 09/25/13 10:27 AM Special Diet Promotes Health and Weight Loss
pufferfish Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/26/08
Posts: 6875
Loc: USA
A RETIREE'S LAST TRIP TO PUBLIX

Yesterday I was at the Villages' (an area north of Orlando full of retirees) Publix (our large food chain in Florida) buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Owen, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had an elephant? So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again.

I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete, (certified), so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I had stopped to pee on a fire hydrant and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Publix won't let me shop there anymore.

(from my e-mail bag) - Puffer



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#450160 - 10/14/13 07:42 PM Re: Special Diet Promotes Health and Weight Loss [Re: pufferfish]
Shyshark Online   sad


Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 416
Loc: Canada
LMAO
_________________________
Experience is a brutal teacher.

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#451142 - 10/24/13 12:10 AM Re: Special Diet Promotes Health and Weight Loss [Re: pufferfish]
bluesky Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/04/13
Posts: 136
Love it thanks me and my wife laughed for a long time.
_________________________
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
Only I will remain."
Frank Herbert

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#451164 - 10/24/13 08:18 AM Re: Special Diet Promotes Health and Weight Loss [Re: pufferfish]
SamV Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/13/09
Posts: 5945
Loc: Talladega, Alabama, USA
HAHAHA, good one Puffer!
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