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#449778 - 10/10/13 03:21 PM Re: Reason for Living? [Re: Lancer]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
No need for responses, but might as well post this, fwiw. Got hit with the trots all night and running a temp today. Despite "Miss Kitty" settling in comfortably this week, I'M back in the depths. I feel weak, disoriented...and damn sick of this.

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#449784 - 10/10/13 04:45 PM Re: Reason for Living? [Re: Lancer]
sentry Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 08/11/12
Posts: 58
Loc: Canada
Hey lancer smile It is no wonder you are struggling. You have been through a lot . Couple that with the meds and your going to have some rough days. Myself I admire the fact that you have the strength just to get here and post something. I have my own problems with depression and on bad days I can't even get out the door. I wonder if some probiotic capsules or food would help with the trots. It does me. Thank You for the pictures of your four, footed feline friend!
I wish I could say or do more to help out. At least know that it matters to me ( and many others here) that you are a bit sidelined just now. Life can be like a boxing match a lot of the time. We win a round and we loose a round but we fight on.
Some times all we can do is wait it out.
Take care.
Sentry

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#449800 - 10/10/13 08:28 PM Re: Reason for Living? [Re: Lancer]
concerned_husky Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/29/12
Posts: 601
I'm "in the depths" too, deeper than ever.

I just hope tomorrow will be better.

Originally Posted By: sentry
Some times all we can do is wait it out.


I can't think of anything else to add.
_________________________
Husky

My Story

Growing up isn't about losing innocence - it's about learning how to keep it in a cold and unforgiving world.

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#449870 - 10/11/13 07:02 PM Re: Reason for Living? [Re: Lancer]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
Husky and sentry, thx for the thots.

Just need to gripe to get it outta my system. Doing Saltines, Gatorade and chicken broth...still feel weak and like crap. Worst of it is my frame of mind. Have about forgotten what it's like to feel decent, have a sense of humor, etc. It's just not there. I find myself thinking, "Crap. What's next? Why bother fighting?" About the only thing I can manage is the diet...lost eight friggin' pounds to dehydration - it's slowly coming back - which really threw me for a loop (I get what Josh Brolin went thru). Dammit.

Y'know, one thing that gets me is that platitude about how "it gets better." Well, sometimes it doesn't. And sometimes it gets worse.

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#450136 - 10/14/13 05:59 AM Re: Reason for Living? [Re: Lancer]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
As sentry pointed out, at least I'm doing some journaling here. Screw it if no one else wants to hear it - fuck, I'm sick of LIVING it - I need to get it outta my system. Guess that's something. Finally doing better this morning after the broth/saltines/rest routine for a few days.

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#450148 - 10/14/13 11:20 AM Re: Reason for Living? [Re: Lancer]
newground Offline
Chatroom Moderator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 10/11/11
Posts: 788
Loc: michigan
hey lancer
I think one of the things I am learning is just what you said, to say it I do it in journal a lot and sometimes I post those thoughts here for the world to see.that makes it more real somehow. but you are right in this to it doesn't always get better and sometimes it does get worse... but I try to go with the averages. I hope it keeps getting better for ya man
Jeff
_________________________
Either I will find a way, or I will make one.
Philip Sidney

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#450174 - 10/14/13 10:47 PM Re: Reason for Living? [Re: Lancer]
Dave PNW Offline


Registered: 04/03/13
Posts: 121
Loc: Pacific Northwest
Lancer. Sorry you are suffering. I think that caring for the foster cats is a great way to change your focus. Sorry you are having gastric distress. Might try miso soup or kimchee. Good probiotics. Hang in there buddy. So sorry you feel this way.

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#452023 - 10/31/13 08:08 AM Re: Reason for Living? [Re: Lancer]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3492
Loc: somewhere in Africa
Lancer - are you around?
haven't heard from you in awhile.
How are you doing?
LEE
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#452036 - 10/31/13 09:20 AM Re: Reason for Living? [Re: Lancer]
ScottSmith Offline


Registered: 03/18/12
Posts: 26
Loc: CA desert
b.r.a.t.
banana rice apple toast
_________________________
Scott
"You can always hear the laughter but seldom hear a tear fall."
Keith Johnstone

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#452250 - 11/02/13 04:03 PM Re: Reason for Living? [Re: Lancer]
Lancer Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/13/12
Posts: 901
Loc: Florida
Just got a PM from one of the guys and was reminded I hadn't posted in a while.

Have settled the kitty thing for now, important because they're my anchor. Beige one (Maggie), a temp foster, recovered. Took Charlie Chaplain as a permie. Maggie's an older female used to being the only cat, so she didn't get along with him and scared him a bit. I went back and also brought in the black one I'd previously fostered - a buddy for Charlie - Maggie still was hissy, so she went back Friday to be adopted to an appropriate home...soon, I hope.

Charlie ("Little Guy") and Nero ("Big Guy") are like younger/older brothers. Unusual for cats, they clicked immediately. Nero, to me, is the perfect cat. Big (20 lbs/9 kilos?), affectionate, talkative and very tolerant of the younger cat, including playtime...Nero let's the smaller Charlie "win" wrestling matches (lol...one swipe of Nero's Very Large Paw would probably otherwise end it). Charlie's very playful and affectionate, right down to what I call "kat kisses"...nibbles on my nose. They're both relieved to have the "bitch" gone.



Physically, I'm dealing. Energy's okay. Painful sinus infection/headaches one side the past couple of weeks that seem to be exacerbated by the heart meds for a few hours after I take 'em, but nothing else. Mentally, I feel I'm improving but not quite "there" yet. Sense of humor is, frankly, MIA. Occasionally feeling discouraged at the unexpected side-effect issues since the heart attack: headaches (some severe) that come and go, trots that come and go. I find myself asking, "oh crap, nowwhat?"

Client projects - mostly adverts - get done, though shoots are thin. Again, kitteh kare (food, water, litter, playtime) forces me to stay grounded and the house clean. Hadn't really appreciated, especially until the two guys settled in, just how much I've depended on them to get me out of myself.

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