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#449199 - 10/04/13 06:41 PM I'm back in University but I'm feeling all
jls Offline


Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 1142
f*cked up. My anxiety is driving me crazy! It's silly since I am doing a good job of keeping up but returning to school after being in the work force for a number of years I feel lost, like its total culture shock. On top of this, I am studying social work, and its bringing up alot of stuff for me around my past, which increases my anxiety and makes me wonder if I even want to continue. Any advice on dealing with this would be appreciated. Thanks.
_________________________
Love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.


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#449200 - 10/04/13 06:51 PM Re: I'm back in University but I'm feeling all [Re: jls]
thepatient Offline


Registered: 09/29/13
Posts: 29
Loc: USA
Sorry I can't give any better advice than this, but are you currently on any meds? I take a minimum dose of Citalopram and boy does it do the trick to stave away the maddening anxiety and depression(& doesn't make me feel like a zombie). Also, the nurses in the psych hospital told me that caffeine often exacerbates anxiety, so if you consume it then you might want to limit your intake.
_________________________
"Shine on forever
Shine on benevolent sun
Shine down upon the broken
Shine until the two become one
Shine on upon the severed
Divided, I'm withering away
Shine on upon the many, light our way
Benevolent sun"

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#449202 - 10/04/13 07:12 PM Re: I'm back in University but I'm feeling all [Re: jls]
newground Offline
Chatroom Moderator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 10/11/11
Posts: 761
Loc: michigan
Hey jls
I right there with you man. I started working on my bachelors in psychology about two years ago , oddly enough part of the reason was to help understand what was happening with my head. I have had lots of anxiety especially in some of the courses like developmental psych.I don't really have any good advice beyond just breathe deeply, keep your support near, and remember your goal you deserve good things and you are in control of the now. you can do it
_________________________
Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. let me then tow to pieces, while still chasing thee, thou damned whale! Thus, I give up the spear!"
Herman Melville

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#449206 - 10/04/13 08:44 PM Re: I'm back in University but I'm feeling all [Re: thepatient]
jls Offline


Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 1142
Actually that is good advice. I am also on citalopram (have been for 8 years) but have never had the dose increased from the minimum so maybe its needed. I've lived with anxiety for a long time (I suspect most survivors do)but its been made acute in the last month due to a major lifestyle shift with starting school. Caffeine and nicotine is another issue. I consume alot of each so I'll address it.
_________________________
Love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.


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#449207 - 10/04/13 08:46 PM Re: I'm back in University but I'm feeling all [Re: newground]
jls Offline


Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 1142
Thanks. That I deserve good things is something I need to keep reminding myself of.
_________________________
Love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.


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#449270 - 10/05/13 11:43 AM Re: I'm back in University but I'm feeling all [Re: jls]
Bluedogone Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/03/13
Posts: 205
Loc: Southeast US
Originally Posted By: jls
That I deserve good things is something I need to keep reminding myself of.

Very true. You can never do too much of that. And you DO deserve good things.

Remember too that even without all the baggage of the past, just returning to school after a long absence is a culture shock of its own. When I returned some years ago, after 30 years away from school (with no subjects that triggered my past) I still wondered WTF! What have I got myself into. Looking at it from this side, I'm glad my first thoughts of just quitting didn't win out.

You CAN do it, and you'll be glad when it's accomplished. Good Luck

CJ
_________________________
Never, never, never, never give up....Winston Churchill

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#449465 - 10/07/13 09:11 PM Re: I'm back in University but I'm feeling all [Re: jls]
jls Offline


Registered: 03/06/09
Posts: 1142
Yeah dealing with thoughts of quitting are hard. Sometimes I just feel like giving up on it and asking myself if its what I really want. Dealing with depression and anxiety in the middle of it doesn't help either, but I saw my doctor and got some meds so hopefully it makes a difference.
_________________________
Love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world.


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#449473 - 10/07/13 10:24 PM Re: I'm back in University but I'm feeling all [Re: jls]
Napoleon Offline


Registered: 04/06/11
Posts: 166
Loc: Utah
I hear you, when ever I come on here I read someone else’s story, and see my own story. About 4 years ago I did the same thing, after 20 years working, I returned to school. I had a number of courses that triggered me.

Here in the US we have laws that apply to people with disabilities including PTSD. We have special accessibility offices to help with this. When I started school I did not have flash backs, just panic/anizity attacks, however near the end of the first semester - I started having sever flash backs, and the accessibility department gave me some extra time to complete one of my finals. I continued in school for several more years, "human Sexuality" & "Law" both triggered me so badly that I had to drop them. Human Sexuality I didn’t drop soon enough and it shows as a fail, accessibility was going to help me change it a withdraw so it won’t hurt me so badly. Others classes I pushed through with difficulty.

About a year ago I had an incident where the police thought I was suicidal, but in fact I was exerincing sever flash backs of abuse. I started having sever flashbacks the moment I got in the car, uncuffed I had been led to believe that going to the hospital was optional at this point. I asked the cop to pull over and let me drive myself. He was vocalizing that he was going to pull over, but that was lie, he kept on going down the road, leading me on.. Just like my abuser did.

They forced me into the hospital were they kept me restraining face down just like my abuser did & forcibly Removing my clothing. I went from flash back to flash back as they kept me face down. There where periods of normality were I would explain that being kept face down was triggering the flash backs, these were ignored. I would beg to be rolled over and the would respond by explaining how the cuffs might hurt me. I will always hate cops, but that’s a different story.

During my first 3 years I only had a few classes that triggered me, but the last year after this incident, school became a nightmare. My flashbacks became so severe that I was being triggered in every class, even classes that shouldn't have been triggering me like math. I left school last spring, looking back I regret it. The last time I was there was during spring break to try to get that F, changed to W, left crying. I may not be able to return when my symptoms recede because I dropped out mid semester and may never again be able to get financial aid as a result. Didn’t get my BA, I did however receive an associates my 3rd year so not all was lost.

School was good for me in many ways; it was the mental illness that was bad. If you continue to have problems you may want to try an accessibility office (or equivalent) and see if they can help. If these classes are triggering you, a career in social work might as well, are you going to be able to be an effective social worker? I would change your major, just saying.
_________________________
“Your only limit within reason, is the one that you set up in your own mind.” Napoleon Hill, The Law of Success, 1925.

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#449551 - 10/08/13 02:47 PM Re: I'm back in University but I'm feeling all [Re: jls]
Sven Offline


Registered: 07/29/13
Posts: 278
My thoughts are, you have to deal with these feelings and thoughts sooner or later anyway. Doing it when you're not at work (fulltime) yet, might be preferable?
Take care
_________________________
In the howling wind
Comes a stinging rain
See it driving nails
Into souls on the tree of pain
From the firefly a red orange glow
See the face of fear
Running scared in the valley below
~ Bullet The Blue Sky - U2

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