....I feel guilt. Shame. Self loathing....I am interested in a way to speak with other men who've been abused. I guess in my own way its cathartic to talk about it now after many years.
Welcome to the club that no one in their right mind wants to join. Many of us are middleaged and just dealing with what was done to us as boys, for the first time. The guilt, shame, and self-loathing you describe are all to common among us.
You are on the right track in starting to talk about it. Someone shared with me early on that "Sex abuse happens in secret, but healing happens out loud"
. I have found that to be true. The more you talk about it the less power it has over you. When you visit MS read, share, and learn all you can. Healing is possible. You CAN
change your life.
Seems I've got to have a change of scene
Every night I have the strangest dreams
Imprisoned by the way it could have been
Left here on my own or so it seems
I've got to leave before I start to screamJoe Cocker