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#44902 - 06/24/03 11:35 PM Going to do it but.......
Nathan LaChine Offline
Webmaster
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/22/03
Posts: 5378
Loc: Washington State
Well brothers Vicki and I are really going to do it. Where going into foster care!! It has been Vicki's dream for along time and also mine. I made a promise along time ago and I feel like I am finally following through on it. I am going to meet with the Foster Parent Directer for my town. I am calling him on Thursday to start the paper work.

The only things that I worrie about might seem little to you guys but they are a big thing to me. First the age differnce between Vicki and me is rather large. 32 years give or take a month or two. I am kind of worried about that cause it is a big differnce. What do you guys think? Think the that will be an issue? Second I am not sure if I should tell them about my childhood. If I should tell how much should I tell?

Well these are about the only issues that I am worried about. Should I be worried waht do you guys think? O yea my wife has already picked out the kids she wants to adopt lol. So she kind of kick started this but she wants to adopt them so we are going to go through the foster care training and the adopt training at the same time.

I would love to hear from all you guys because I have grown to love and respect you all.


lots of love Nathan


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#44903 - 06/25/03 12:06 AM Re: Going to do it but.......
Wuamei Offline
Member

Registered: 08/19/02
Posts: 2700
Loc: The left turn I should have ta...
Nathan,

Don't know much about this, but I can't see why the age difference would be a big problem, not to mention making an issue of it would not be P C--age discrimination.

As to what you tell about your childhood SA I don't know if I would tell any more than what you might be required to tell if anything. Your experience with SA might actually help you with foster kids many of whom will likely have suffered abuse themselves. Just don't know if the system would see it that way.

Not much help but I wish ya'll well in this and am praying for you.

Victor

_________________________
"I can't stand pain. It hurts me."
--Daffy Duck

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#44904 - 06/25/03 12:19 AM Re: Going to do it but.......
Nathan LaChine Offline
Webmaster
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/22/03
Posts: 5378
Loc: Washington State
Thanks Victor see I think about the age thing alot. The SA of my past I think I would say I was abused but that would be it or what every else they needed to a point. I am just worried about the age, if anyone here works for the foster care system or is a foster parent would love to hear from you.


Thanks agian victor

lots of love, Nathan


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#44905 - 06/25/03 02:35 AM Re: Going to do it but.......
andrew-almost52 Offline
Member

Registered: 10/31/02
Posts: 243
Loc: canada
Nathan, the home study folks may not formally address the age difference issue, but I got a feeling that it will be an issue. Certainly if I was doing the study I would probe more deeply.
Just my opinion. Peace, Andrew


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#44906 - 06/25/03 09:32 AM Re: Going to do it but.......
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
Hey Nathan,

It's not as if you are a former prisoner out applying for a job. You didn't do anything wrong. You had something wrong done to you.
I'd say only give information that is asked for. If it touches on this subject, then be brief.
You have done nothing to feel guilty about or be ashamed of, so don't let worry be a part of this awesome thing that you are doing.
These kids need the love and support of big hearted people like you and the world is a much better place for others because of your concern for these "little ones". Go for it!

God bless you,

Ron

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


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#44907 - 06/25/03 10:13 AM Re: Going to do it but.......
outis Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/27/03
Posts: 2258
Loc: Maryland USA
Nathan,

If the age difference doesn't stop you from building a strong relationship with each other, it will not stop you from building a strong home for the children.

Thanks,

Joe

_________________________
"Telemachos, your guest is no discredit to you. I wasted no time in stringing the bow, and I did not miss the mark. My strength is yet unbroken…"—The Odyssey, translated by W.H.D. Rouse

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#44908 - 06/26/03 03:01 PM Re: Going to do it but.......
Leosha Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/18/03
Posts: 3614
Loc: Right here
I am not sure what this does mean, it means you will be partial parents of children? Like the children live with you, and you help them? If that is what this is, I do not think that what age you are is a matter, if you are of a mature mind to take care of these children. And of your past. I will think that some of these children will have bad things happen at them also, and I think that you can know some what they feel, that will be a good thing, to make you better with this. I do not know what is maybe required that you tell, but I think it will be a good thing. I hope to read of you posting about your children you work with.

_________________________
Avatar photo in memory of my younger brother Makar.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."~~~Martin Luther King Jr., 1963

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#44909 - 06/26/03 05:20 PM Re: Going to do it but.......
Ivanhoe Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/19/03
Posts: 1907
Nathan,

My wife and I looked into fostering kids and I can tell you that the foster program here in Oregon simply wants to find good people. Age does not seem to be a concern. Our certifier said that there were two sets of grandparents who were fostering children, right in our own neighborhood.
The system here has a great back up team, classes, groups, shared parties, etc.
Good luck to you. I've always thought that those who foster children are doing God's work.

Blessings,

David

_________________________
"No soul is desolate as long as there is a human being for whom it can feel trust and reverence."
George Eliot

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#44910 - 06/27/03 12:26 AM Re: Going to do it but.......
Nathan LaChine Offline
Webmaster
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/22/03
Posts: 5378
Loc: Washington State
Well guys I made the call and I am going to start the process. VIcki and I are going to start all the paper work this weekend. So we will fill all the paper work out and send it in. The classes start in augs so we will become a foster parents first of the year it looks like.


lots of love, Nathan


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#44911 - 06/27/03 05:18 AM Re: Going to do it but.......
Muldoon Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/30/02
Posts: 1428
Loc: St Paul MN
Best of luck Nathan I know you wqill make good foster parents. Maybe the people at the foster parent org. will look at your dealing with the SA as a good thing. You will have lots of experence in the Healing from SA that will help kids get the healing they need. LOOKING FORWARD TO HEARING ABOUT YOUR EXPERENCES. Muldoon

_________________________
Teach the Children to Never Hide in the Silence

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