I have 5 wonderful Grandchildren with another one on the way and for the last few weeks my step daughter (who has trouble getting out because of the pregnency and who's husband works shifts) has asked myself and my wife to collect 2 of them from a certain organisation one day a week in the evening. The problem is its the same organisation where I suffered my abuse, added to which they are the same age as I was. Now I don't want to let her or the grand kids down but I'm not sure how I can carry on doing this. I spend the week dreading the day, I feel sick, I get in a blind panic and waiting outside while my wife goes in to collect them its as much as I can do to stop driving away, they arrive outside the car in their uniforms looking so proud and all I can see is me back then.
I really need some advice on this
Go back?" he thought. "No good at all! Go sideways? Impossible! Go forward? Only thing to do! On we go!" So up he got, and trotted along with his little sword held in front of him and one hand feeling the wall, and his heart all of a patter and a pitter
J.R.R.Tolkien, The Hobbit