This is a short share.
I was at my first social occasion, in a long while. Almost since piecing together the realities and re-livings of my repressed sexual abuse. Dancing. Socializing.
I realized how convoluted my intimacy reactions are. Scared, shy, modest. Immediate overcompensation of the sexual and intimate meanings of touching. Almost as Immediate counter-reactive self-repression.
But I am blessed this evening to have good friends, and good community, who touch me safely, and ease and heal my awkwardness; and I return to them my love, my unconditional, no-strings-attached Self; despite my brain, they are non-sexual beings to my Higher Self, that is, our dance is not Sex; and I am drawn to learn to meet them in that Congress, the Dance which came before the trauma; the Dance that is Native; the one that dances in the Souls of Animals and Free Humyns before Shame was introduced into this Culture.
I will become free.