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#448358 - 09/26/13 10:23 PM Hello, new here
Z0RN Offline


Registered: 09/14/13
Posts: 11
Loc: Canada
Well I guess I should start with why I'm here. I don't remember when it started, but for probably most of my early childhood I was abused by my uncle. He lived in another city and visited a few times a year. When I was about 12-13, I remember coming to the realization that what he was doing was definitely not normal. When i was 14, I told my parents what was happening and luckily they believed me, I haven't seen him since.

Today I'm 21 and work full time in the running trades. I feel like what happened to me back then is still effecting me to this day. I have a lot of anxiety around relationships, and feel like I'm isolating myself from most people. The only time I've ever seen anyone about this was when I was 14, and I remember thinking back then I was fine. I don't feel like that's the case anymore, I almost feel shame when I think about what happened yet I know it wasn't my fault. Some days I feel hopeless about my life, I feel inadequate about being a man. Just writing this stirs up a lot of nasty emotions, but I know it has to be done. Thanks to anyone that reads this and/or responds.

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#448359 - 09/26/13 10:29 PM Re: Hello, new here [Re: Z0RN]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3362
Loc: O Kanada
welcome, zorn.
looking forward to a better future.
i hope you find some healing here.
look around.
don't feel pressured to post if you're not comfortable,
but please do so if you feel the need.
i must say, it is a good thing that you are starting to deal with this at such an early age.
congratulations!
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#448365 - 09/26/13 10:51 PM Re: Hello, new here [Re: Z0RN]
Jude Online   content


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1564
Loc: New England
Originally Posted By: Z0RN
I feel like what happened to me back then is still effecting me ...I have a lot of anxiety around relationships, and feel like I'm isolating myself from most people.....I almost feel shame when I think about what happened yet I know it wasn't my fault. Some days I feel hopeless about my life, I feel inadequate about being a man. Just writing this stirs up a lot of nasty emotions, but I know it has to be done....
Welcome Zorn,

The effects you describe are familar to may of us. You are not alone. And you are exactly right: "it has to be done". When I started dealing with the CSA in my past, someone here told me that "abuse happens in secret, but healing happens out loud, the more you talk about it, the less power it has over you". That has certainly been the case for me.

Just posting this took alot of courage. We are proud of you buddy. Keep it up!

Jude
_________________________
Everyday is a winding road
I get a little bit closer
Everyday is a faded sign
I get a little bit closer to feeling fine.
Sheryl Crow

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#448373 - 09/26/13 11:50 PM Re: Hello, new here [Re: Z0RN]
kcinohio Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 06/06/12
Posts: 340
Loc: Ohio
Thanks for your introduction Zorn. Hope you find some help with healing in the malesurvivor forums here.

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#448386 - 09/27/13 02:45 AM Re: Hello, new here [Re: Z0RN]
On The Fringe Offline


Registered: 09/21/13
Posts: 326
Loc: Southeast USA
Welcome Zorn,

This place has been key to me learning and growing. Sorry you have to be here, but hope you find what you need.

It is awesome you are taking action early on. Very courageous.
_________________________
I feel more like I do now than I did when I got here.

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#448393 - 09/27/13 05:42 AM Re: Hello, new here [Re: Z0RN]
Mountainous Buck Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/15/09
Posts: 1626
Loc: Minnesota
Hey Zorn,

You are not alone - this is a large community of men who share much of what you wrote about. Finding others you can talk to about hour struggles is an important step towards dealing with the effects of abuse.

Keep reading, reaching out and talking about where you're at.

You deserve to reclaim your life and enjoy It free from the past.
_________________________
We have to take responsibility for what we're not responsible for.

It doesn't matter where you've come from,
It matters where you go" Frank Turner

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