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#448324 - 09/26/13 02:13 PM Re: First time ever saying it in front of men [Re: On The Fringe]
traveler Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3357
Loc: somewhere in Africa
Welcome, Patrick!

you just did a good thing for yourself.

this is a HUGE step = the first of many toward greater healing.

keep in touch - there are many resources here - and many guys who want to reach out & help.

lee
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#448355 - 09/26/13 09:49 PM Re: First time ever saying it in front of men [Re: On The Fringe]
Banjo596 Offline


Registered: 08/20/13
Posts: 42
Loc: Ohio
Hey Patrick, welcome.
Our life's experiences sound so similar. About 10 weeks ago I started talking about the abuse that was done to me when I was 13-14 years old. That was almost 38 years ago.
I am going through a divorce which should be finalized on Oct 28th.
Everything ties together, in other words, this CSA has haunted me all my life.
It seems to have had a pattern of setting up every relationship I've ever had with a woman to fail.
I'm at a point in my life that I am actually happy that I have finally been brought to the point of dealing with my CSA. I've told friends who have been supportive.
I applaud you for taking the strong first step of coming here and speaking up for yourself.
It may be a long road, it may be a short road, but it is a road I am ready to down.
I wish you all the best in your journey and as a fellow survivor, I support you 100%.
_________________________
Jeff

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#448362 - 09/26/13 10:41 PM Re: First time ever saying it in front of men [Re: On The Fringe]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3319
Loc: O Kanada
welcome, on the fringe.

(isn't that where the fringe benefits are?)

your story is similar to mine,
the feelings are identical.

"demons" indeed.

congratulations on stepping forward.
we all walk together.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#448387 - 09/27/13 02:58 AM Re: First time ever saying it in front of men [Re: victor-victim]
On The Fringe Offline


Registered: 09/21/13
Posts: 326
Loc: Southeast USA
Originally Posted By: victor-victim
welcome, on the fringe.

(isn't that where the fringe benefits are?)

your story is similar to mine,
the feelings are identical.

"demons" indeed.

congratulations on stepping forward.
we all walk together.


I always thought it was the Lunatic Fringe smile

It really is though. As I read Banjo above. It was the first time I ever considered my CSS had anything to do with my divorce from my first wife.

The insanity is that my idol did this to me. So it can't be bad or wrong, or hurtful. Two days ago I realized I never thought he was a sick bastard. Said it the first time with my female friend. My god I have so far to go....

It really is a mental and physical violation.

I really do belong here.
_________________________
I feel more like I do now than I did when I got here.

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#455648 - 11/30/13 10:33 PM Re: First time ever saying it in front of men [Re: On The Fringe]
saint-of-Lost-Causes Offline
Guest

Registered: 10/13/07
Posts: 57
Loc: Michigan
Congrats! Hard thing to say and come to grips with.
_________________________
We accept the love we think we deserve!

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#456393 - 12/08/13 01:56 PM Re: First time ever saying it in front of men [Re: On The Fringe]
kirbs Offline


Registered: 12/04/13
Posts: 3
Loc: Ontario, Canada
Your words speak volumes. Shining a light on the dark things that terrify us is the key. You should not have to hide. We should not have to hide. There is power in facing down your demons and I am glad to be part of a group that can help you do this. Always remember that you are not alone in this.

Peace be with you.

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#456404 - 12/08/13 03:57 PM Re: First time ever saying it in front of men [Re: On The Fringe]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1617
On the Fringe

Welcome and you words are so reflective of what we live. I am glad you have faced many of yours issues. You are in a welcoming place and feel safe. Share when you are ready. We do not pass judgment.

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#456405 - 12/08/13 04:02 PM Re: First time ever saying it in front of men [Re: Patrick7958]
KMCINVA Offline
Greeter
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 08/31/11
Posts: 1617
Patrick

Welcome and thank you for sharing. Many of us kept it a secret for decades while it slow ate at our heart and soul. Facing it is the most difficult, sharing it with others is impossible for many. But once one opens up, it allows us to let it out and begin to heal.

Glad to hear you are seeking counseling. Heal well.

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