justplainme, I just wanted to tell you that your words are like a healing salve for me today... thank you!
it's hard to stop running and slowly lift the veil. but returning to my body, to human contact, to relationships, slowly I have seen how many ways the abuse has crushed me... it's like learning to breathe, to walk, to talk, to relate again.. all over. it's a journey that's both devastating and hopeful. one day at a time. rising again!
thanks so much bro! i feel a lot of love for all you survivors out there on this board and here in my city and myself, my little boy that survived everything and made it this far!
I am, i think the healthier you get,the more sick you realize you were or are in certain areas,like a veil is lifted And you see the damage for what it really is.
The hardest part is seeing everyone else healthy in the sense That other men never have had to deal with This issue, but then i realized there is no sense in comparing myself to other's.
I want to be myself, integrate the abuse because it never really goes away. We can't go back to who we where at the age of the abuse,yet we can become stronger for it.
I intend to use the abuse and all the bag of shit it takes as an alchemical gift for my own transformation.
I don't think there is another way out.
Stay strong brothers!