It does give hope to see that you aren't alone. There are nearly 12,000 guys here who you can learn from, and will understand what you think and feel when you are ready to put it all to words.
Take your time. The is no schedule to recovery. It happens when you are ready to let it happen. Be good to yourself.
"And God only knows
God makes his plan
The information's unavailable to the mortal man
We're workin' our jobs
Collect our pay
Believe were gliding down the highway
When if fact we're slip slidin' away"Paul Simon