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#447788 - 09/20/13 11:26 PM Top 10 Stupid Criminals
Jude Offline

Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1633
Loc: New England

10. Honey, They Snorted the Dogs!
In January a group of teenaged boys allegedly broke into a Florida home and took numerous items including the cremated remains of the victim's father and two dogs, which they mistakenly assumed were narcotics. According to the police report, the boys later tasted and sniffed the cremated remains thinking it was cocaine and then learned of their mistake after seeing a news report. Police arrested Waldo Soroa 19, Jose Diaz Marrero, 19, Matrix Andaluz, 18 and two 17-year-olds on various burglary charged. Last reported, the ashes of the man and one of the dogs had been recovered.

9. Prison Smuggling Can Be a Pain
In March 2011, Earl Lee Vogt was sentenced and sent directly to jail for nearly four years on a narcotics conviction. Soon after he was locked up various smuggled items were found in his cell. Lake County, Ca. correctional officers uncovered a Kyocera cell phone, Mp3 player, ear bud headphones, tobacco, marijuana and $140 in cash. When asked how he managed to get all the items into his prison cell, Vogt claimed he got the marijuana from another inmate by trading another Mp3 player and that he hid the other items in his rectum. Vogt was charged with smuggling a controlled substance into prison and unauthorized possession of a wireless communication device.

8. Math Ain't Easy When You're Stoned
Kevin Lee Cokayne was arrested by Fairfax County, Virginia police for allegedly dealing drugs after they found marijuana inside his home. According to the report, an undercover police officer in search for cocaine, went to Cokayne's residence and asked he could search his home. Cokayne, who has a picture of an 8-ball on his Face book page, told police that he only had eight ounces of weed, which was a misdemeanor and a waste of the cops time. This prompted the officer to obtain a search warrant and when the police returned they found enough marijuana to charge Cokayne with distribution.

7. Escape Effort Grinds to a Halt
Roy and Jessica Fritts' love story began while both of them were in jail and exchanged letters after meeting on a prison pen-pal website. This eventually led to a jail house marriage.
When they got out of jail, the loving couple decided they wanted to go to Nevada, but they had no means of transportation. They ended up hitching a ride from a man who they then allegedly tried to kill by shooting him multiple times and leaving him on the side of the road, then stealing his van. Utah police spotted the stolen van and began chasing the couple at a high speed. The couple blew out the van tires after riding over police laid stop sticks. Not ready to give up, these savvy ex-cons took off on foot, then as luck would have it they found another car to steal, jumped in it and started to take off again with police in hot pursuit. There was just one major problem. The car had a stick shift that neither one of the Fritts knew how to drive. The police quickly surrounded the grinding car and the two eventually surrendered.

6. Maybe He Can Plead Judgment Impaired
What do you do when your drug dealer stiffs you? Willie Avery of Corpus Christi decided that his best action to take was to call 9-1-1. Apparently Avery gave a guy ten dollars to go buy him a pinch of marijuana and (big surprise) the man never returned. Feeling robbed, Avery did what every drug buyer would do, he called 9-1-1 for emergency help. When the police arrived he first said he was beaten and robbed, but finally broke down and told the truth. He was charged with filing a false report which is a misdemeanor. Lesson learned.

5. Arby's in No Mood for Art Theft
The saying, "If it's not nailed down, someone will steal it," comes to mind in this case of art theft from an Arby's restaurant in Johnson City, Tennessee. According to police, Connie Sumlin, 45 and Gail Johnson, 58, both from Erwin, Tennessee were arrested and charged with theft after footage off of a surveillance camera showed the women stealing a framed picture of a pear and a wall sculpture from Arby's lobby. The footage shows the two women entering Arby's then stopping in the lobby to admire the art. Then, as any other team artnappers might do, they split up. One of the women went inside the restaurant and ordered food while the other woman removed the artwork. The plan may have worked if it wasn't for the surveillance camera and the restaurant's observant manager who saw what the women were up to and called police. A few days later the women were identified, arrested and each were charged with a theft over $500.

4. Not the Encounter She Hoped For
Anamicka Dave, 29, of Roswell, New Mexico wanted to buy some marijuana, but she apparently couldn't find a dealer. Then, as if in a stroke of genius, she decided to post an ad on the "Casual Encounters" section on Craigslist. The ad read in part, "New to town looking to buy MaryJane." Sharp-eyed Police Sgt. Ty Sharpe spotted the ad and after verifying that it wasn't a reverse-sting operation being run by his department, he went into action. Undercover agents acting as pot dealers arranged to meet with Dave and promptly arrested her when she showed up.

3. Would You Like Milk and Cookies, Too?
In an effort to avoid arrest after being suspected of murder in 2009, Jesse Dimmick went on the run with police following close behind. He ended up crashing two stolen cars and then decided to take newlyweds Jared and Lindsay Rowley hostage.
The Rowleys treated Dimmick as they would any guest, offering him refreshments along with pillows and a blanket and the group settled in and watched movies. When Dimmick nodded off to sleep the Rowleys escaped and called police. He was arrested, but not before there was a scuffle and he was shot. The Rowleys then decided to sue Dimmick for $75,000 for the stress brought on by the home invasion and being held hostage.
In return Dimmick, who was probably thinking he was having a real "gotcha" moment, decided to counter sue the Rowleys for $235,000 for breach of contract and to help pay medical bills after he was shot on their property. He wrote, "I, the defendant, asked the Rowleys to hide me because I feared for my life. I offered the Rowleys an unspecified amount of money which they agreed upon, therefore forging a legally binding oral contract." Amazingly the Rowleys had to turn to a judge in order to get the lawsuit dismissed.

2. Clean Up in the Meth Aisle!
Elizabeth Alisha Greta Halfmoon, 45, also known as Alisha Halfmoon, is accused of going into a Tulsa Walmart to cook up some meth. According to Tulsa police, Walmart security contacted them because Halfmoon, who had been in the store for six hours, was acting suspicious. Officer David Shelby said that when he approached Halfmoon inside the store she had just finished mixing sulfuric acid with starter fluid which can be a highly explosive mixture. “When firefighters were on the scene she made statements to them that is what she was doing, she was attempting to obtain these chemicals and was in the process of trying to manufacture meth. However, she said she was not very good at it,” said Officer Shelby. One of the other officers on the scene received chemical burns while discarding the mixture after it burned through the bottle and through his gloves.

1. You Know It's a Bad Day When...
Shoplifters are constantly on the lookout for the opportunity to steal. Apparently Timothy Randall Clark of Maryland thought the perfect time to steal from Walmart was during a "Shop With A Cop" charity event being held in the store by 50 police officers. Walmart security caught Clark trying to conceal video games and accessories in his shirt and called the police - all 50 of them. Police say Clark was charged with the theft of $635.04 worth of 26 Play Station and Xbox games, two controllers, and other video game accessories valued at $635.04.

#447789 - 09/20/13 11:31 PM Re: Top 10 Stupid Criminals [Re: Jude]
victor-victim Offline

Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 5838
Loc: O Kanada



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