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#447627 - 09/19/13 12:30 PM Hi from the UK
tbkkfile Offline


Registered: 09/16/13
Posts: 169
Loc: Surrey, United Kingdom
43 years on from my CSA and I finally started my journey around 6 months ago, I'm not sure what the trigger was but I guess it was the realisation of my own mortality.

Healing for me is being able to smile at the world, lifting the fog of dissociation and being able to look out and not in, it's empowerment, leaving behind my self-destructive tendencies, my predisposition to addiction, being able to open the door to the locked room inside my head where I put my childhood and being able to tell the boy still locked inside that itís all going to be OK.
_________________________
Go back?" he thought. "No good at all! Go sideways? Impossible! Go forward? Only thing to do! On we go!" So up he got, and trotted along with his little sword held in front of him and one hand feeling the wall, and his heart all of a patter and a pitter

J.R.R.Tolkien, The Hobbit

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#447628 - 09/19/13 12:34 PM Re: Hi from the UK [Re: tbkkfile]
peroperic2009 Offline
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3603
Loc: South-East Europe
Welcome to Male Survivor!
Many of us were waiting for right time to face hurtful happenings from the past.
It is needed a lot of strength and wisdom to be able to do it. I guess that is the main reason why there is almost always huge time delay.
Anyway it is good to see you here, I hope your healing journey will benefit from this site and resources that are offered.
Be well!

Pero
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My story

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#447634 - 09/19/13 01:16 PM Re: Hi from the UK [Re: tbkkfile]
victor-victim Offline


Registered: 09/27/03
Posts: 3333
Loc: O Kanada
welcome from the UK!!
glad to have you aboard.

Originally Posted By: tbkkfile
Healing for me is being able to smile at the world, lifting the fog of dissociation and being able to look out and not in, it's empowerment, leaving behind my self-destructive tendencies, my predisposition to addiction, being able to open the door to the locked room inside my head where I put my childhood and being able to tell the boy still locked inside that itís all going to be OK.


this is brilliant and accurate.
i especially like the SMILE part!
thank you for bringing your clarity to the mix.
_________________________
Victor|Victim

War
Love
Poetry

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#447685 - 09/19/13 08:21 PM Re: Hi from the UK [Re: tbkkfile]
F.A. Offline


Registered: 09/02/11
Posts: 229
Loc: United States
Sorry you had to find us for the reason you did but welcome brother may this be the first step in taking your life back.
_________________________
F.A.

To be sick is to be fragmented. To be healed is to become whole, and to become whole one must be in harmony with family, friends, and nature" -Navajo-
Blog: http://csafresno.blogspot.com
Facebook: http://tinyurl.com/CSAFresno
My Story: http://tinyurl.com/78upvvu

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#447706 - 09/20/13 12:06 AM Re: Hi from the UK [Re: tbkkfile]
tbkkfile Offline


Registered: 09/16/13
Posts: 169
Loc: Surrey, United Kingdom
Thank you all so very much for your kind words.

I feel kind of lonely taking this journey on my own but the little guy inside my head needs to rejoin the adult that he's become, two becomes one again - hope that doesn't sound too crazy

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#447707 - 09/20/13 12:23 AM Re: Hi from the UK [Re: tbkkfile]
traveler Online   confused
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/07/06
Posts: 3377
Loc: somewhere in Africa
doesn't sound crazy at all. you'll find similar statements in some of the best books on the subject - and from some of the more experienced guys here too.

and you will hear a LOT more "crazy" sounding stuff than that if you stick around!

welcome, t!
_________________________
As my life goes on I believe somehow something's changed
Something deep inside...
I've been searchin so long to find an answer
Now I know my life has meaning
Now I see myself as I am, feeling very free...
When my tears have come to an end I will understand
What I left behind: a part of me. Chicago


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#447717 - 09/20/13 03:22 AM Re: Hi from the UK [Re: tbkkfile]
tbkkfile Offline


Registered: 09/16/13
Posts: 169
Loc: Surrey, United Kingdom
Thanks traveler, I guess that normal doesn't fit too well with me but then again what's normal. Unfortunately the little me got locked in by accident with all of the nasty stuff, my mistake really I was too young to know how to separate me from the s**t when I closed the door.
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Go back?" he thought. "No good at all! Go sideways? Impossible! Go forward? Only thing to do! On we go!" So up he got, and trotted along with his little sword held in front of him and one hand feeling the wall, and his heart all of a patter and a pitter

J.R.R.Tolkien, The Hobbit

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#447767 - 09/20/13 08:31 PM Re: Hi from the UK [Re: tbkkfile]
Jay1946 Offline


Registered: 08/08/13
Posts: 82
Loc: Miami, Florida, USA
TBK:

It took me fifty seven years to start the journey of healing from the ripples of csa. You have described the journey beautifully.I believe it's all about becoming whole again, after the csa split us apart into the child that froze in the age of the csa and the adult we have become.

Welcome and thanks for sharing your journey with us.
_________________________
Jay

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#447796 - 09/21/13 01:43 AM Re: Hi back [Re: tbkkfile]
Still Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 02/16/07
Posts: 6401
Loc: 2.5 NATO Nations
Hi back at ya. Waiving from the beaches of New England.
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Wishing You Were Here!

The Aftermath Video

The Water Buffalo Song

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#447874 - 09/22/13 03:18 AM Re: Hi back [Re: tbkkfile]
tbkkfile Offline


Registered: 09/16/13
Posts: 169
Loc: Surrey, United Kingdom
Thanks to all of you its comforting and appreciated.
_________________________
Go back?" he thought. "No good at all! Go sideways? Impossible! Go forward? Only thing to do! On we go!" So up he got, and trotted along with his little sword held in front of him and one hand feeling the wall, and his heart all of a patter and a pitter

J.R.R.Tolkien, The Hobbit

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