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#447311 - 09/15/13 09:07 PM Re: I've been waiting since 1987 for this. [Re: DavoSwim]
Publius Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 03/13/12
Posts: 425
Loc: OH
What an incredibly cathartic, albeit emotionally charged, experience. I am very happy you were able to make amends with your brother, more importantly that you successfully spoke your mind and felt validated in doing so. Something you said really struck me:

"The paradigm of the time was that it was a moral failing, not a criminal act, and with prayer, repentance and penance, someone could turn his life around. My brother said he really felt that he could help. He believed he had some sort of power to bring about change and through prayer and support Fr Bob could be healed. That mindset existed throughout the hierarchy of the church and at all levels from parish priests to archbishops to cardinals, the belief was that through prayer, penance, and forgiveness, the abuser would stop the evil. When viewed through today’s paradigm, it is dead wrong, but for the time, it made sense."

I think a lot of organizational leaders, family members, and so on and so forth make this mistake in approaching abusers in this manner. (especially ones they know and like or are related to). Their motivations vary but the results are always the same: more self-immolation and more victims.
_________________________
"Life is like this dark tunnel. You may not always see the light at the end of the tunnel, but if you keep moving, you will come to a better place." ~ General Iroh

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#447551 - 09/18/13 03:14 PM Re: I've been waiting since 1987 for this. [Re: DavoSwim]
Bluedogone Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/03/13
Posts: 260
Loc: Southeast US
Bravo and well done, Dave.

It's hard to read your account and not tear up. Not the tears I had as a teen, but tears of joy and elation at the victory, a victory of your validation and reconciliation, and a further giant step in healing. I haven't been here long enough to know all the details of the dark valley you most likely went through, but I'm glad I'm here, now, to share this outstanding break through. And I'm really glad that you gave credit for your boldness and advocacy for all the 11 year old's to the Spirit of God. There is such a greatness within us that can help us to cope with all the crap that has to be faced. And your story reminded me I need to call on this inner strength a lot more, and thanks for your bravery and for sharing.

CJ
_________________________
Never, never, never, never give up....Winston Churchill

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#447559 - 09/18/13 04:52 PM Re: I've been waiting since 1987 for this. [Re: DavoSwim]
Rich1967 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/17/13
Posts: 289
Loc: PA
Dave,

I almost missed this - life has been so crazy with school starting up.

WAY TO GO! You are awesome! Nice job on standing up for the little boy within and for all of the other little boys who've been hurt. Little dave needs that kind of love and you certainly showed him that you want to love and protect him.

Thanks for sharing this moment with all of us.
_________________________
Rich

"Me too" - I don't think I will ever get tired of saying or hearing these two words.

My Story:
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=441625#Post441625

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