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#447390 - 09/16/13 08:36 PM Therapy
flightmedic38 Offline


Registered: 09/13/13
Posts: 78
Loc: Kansas
Had my 6th therapy session today and finally words came out of my mouth. Not saying it was positive because I am a total mess now.. Xanax isn't even taking the edge off so lost is there a light at the end of the tunnel? I only feel pain and ashamed. Don't know how to continue..... HELP.

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#447394 - 09/16/13 08:48 PM Re: Therapy [Re: flightmedic38]
ThisMan Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/22/13
Posts: 767
Loc: upper south
Dowen,

It seems to be the norm to feel the shame as you begin to open up and feel what is inside. That is one of the things we all share. It seems the victims of sexual abuse who can rationally say they know what happened is not their fault still have the shame of being used.

You can continue because you have help. Your T will guide you and it will be okay. I entered therapy last November as my 55th b'day was approaching. I didn't know how i could continue either. It was hard. It was just hard. But the months have passed and most days are like a new me. It will be that way for you also.

Don't give up. Just give in to the fact that even though you don't know how to continue, you have made the choice to alter your future in a positive way. It will unfold. Take it a day at a time. It is hard to know and begin to understand what your abuser(s) have done to you as a kid. But that's part of it. And it's okay to be fearful. Post your thoughts here frequently and honestly. Someone will ALWAYS reach out and support you.

We are proud of you. You can do this.

bill


Edited by ThisMan (09/16/13 08:50 PM)
_________________________
For now we see through a glass, darkly.



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#447396 - 09/16/13 08:50 PM Re: Therapy [Re: flightmedic38]
Onesimus75 Offline


Registered: 08/22/13
Posts: 158
Loc: Minnesota
I saw a light at the end of the tunnel. It was two or three years before i saw it when i was suicidal. But I did eventually see it. Just because you're on the dark side of the moon does not mean that the sun has stopped burning in the sky.

I continued by breathing. Then eating. Then sleeping. I went to work, or school. But the whole time I was just waiting and hoping for it to be less dark.

I wish I had faster, or easier answers. But the truth is that sometimes I think the light comes back slowly. The trick is to make up your mind that you're going to make it.

You're here. You're talking about it. I think that's awesome. I think you're going to make it!!!
_________________________
We are not defined by our faults, or our wounds, but by the truth within us, which nothing can take away.

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#447400 - 09/16/13 09:23 PM Re: Therapy [Re: flightmedic38]
flightmedic38 Offline


Registered: 09/13/13
Posts: 78
Loc: Kansas
Thank you both for the support. My light was suicide but intervention has put me on a different path! Now the goal is to stay on that path and not wonder off. Still ashamed of my story or what I can recall of it. No matter how many times someone tells u it wasn't your fault I still feel like it was because I keep putting my self back into the abuse... This is all encompassing me...
_________________________
Either get to living or get to dying!!!!! Shawshank redemption

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#447464 - 09/17/13 01:51 PM Re: Therapy [Re: flightmedic38]
Rich1967 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/17/13
Posts: 268
Loc: PA
Dowen,

What courage you have to jump right in and start sharing. You may not know it yet, but everything you've done and talked about already shows great strength! Others reading your posts will draw strength from it as well. There are definitely dark times throughout the whole process, but hang on, keep breathing, and stay on the path with your T and sharing here and it will get better.

I didn't really come to terms with how messed up I was from my abuse for about 22 years after I first went to counseling for it. It's been one year of heavy counseling since last summer and I still alternate between light and dark all the time. I want to say it's more light now, but... Anyway, I know I'm on the right path so I just hold on tight through the dark times and reach out to my fellow brothers here at MS. They are all so cool!

I'm sorry you have to be here, but I already love participating in your recovery.
_________________________
Rich

"Me too" - I don't think I will ever get tired of saying or hearing these two words.

My Story:
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=441625#Post441625

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