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#446201 - 09/02/13 07:55 AM Re: Everything going to hell *triggers* [Re: Sven]
peroperic2009 Online   content
Moderator
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 10/09/11
Posts: 3600
Loc: South-East Europe
Hey Sven,
you are not disappointing nor disgusting; please don't be so hard on yourself. You came here in search for help and to learn more and I'm sure you are trying very hard to get out of abusive cycle.
Unfortunately it is always very difficult to escape from such environment and violent family background so please arm yourself with patience and wait for right moment. I'm sure you'll be free and on your own soon.
You are our hero; you are terrible strong person.

Don't forget that you are not alone, you have friends here.

Hugs

(((Sven)))
_________________________
My story

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#446210 - 09/02/13 09:54 AM Re: Everything going to hell *triggers* [Re: Sven]
Rich1967 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/17/13
Posts: 270
Loc: PA
You're definitely NOT a disappointment. I bet you have learned a lot since coming here and one day you may find the break you are looking for/need. Maybe one of the many suggestions you've received will be possible at some point. In the meantime do what you can to survive and know that we love you as a fellow brother even if it is so hard to see you being hurt and in an abusive situation.
_________________________
Rich

"Me too" - I don't think I will ever get tired of saying or hearing these two words.

My Story:
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=441625#Post441625

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#446216 - 09/02/13 10:36 AM Re: Everything going to hell *triggers* [Re: Sven]
F.A. Offline


Registered: 09/02/11
Posts: 229
Loc: United States
You do not disappoint or disgust any of us we care about you and understand your pain.We don't judge here at all.We care and love you Sven
_________________________
F.A.

To be sick is to be fragmented. To be healed is to become whole, and to become whole one must be in harmony with family, friends, and nature" -Navajo-
Blog: http://csafresno.blogspot.com
Facebook: http://tinyurl.com/CSAFresno
My Story: http://tinyurl.com/78upvvu

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#447284 - 09/15/13 12:01 PM Re: Everything going to hell *triggers* [Re: Sven]
Sven Offline


Registered: 07/29/13
Posts: 261
I sure do feel like that though
True or not I can't shake that feeling
or stop feeling THEM ugh
_________________________
In the howling wind
Comes a stinging rain
See it driving nails
Into souls on the tree of pain
From the firefly a red orange glow
See the face of fear
Running scared in the valley below
~ Bullet The Blue Sky - U2

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#447365 - 09/16/13 03:38 PM Re: Everything going to hell *triggers* [Re: Sven]
Rich1967 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 07/17/13
Posts: 270
Loc: PA
Hey Sven,

It was good o hear something from you.

I have those feelings all the time - I'm a disappointment to my family, I'm worthlessness and have nothing to offer anyone, etc. My abuse was over 30 years ago. Things are a lot better now, but didn't really start getting better till about a year ago.

Hang in there. Do what you need to survive and don't feel guilty about it. Keep trying to improve your situation when you can. Just being here and sharing what you do is a success in many ways.
_________________________
Rich

"Me too" - I don't think I will ever get tired of saying or hearing these two words.

My Story:
http://www.malesurvivor.org/board/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=441625#Post441625

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#447379 - 09/16/13 05:59 PM Re: Everything going to hell *triggers* [Re: Sven]
Sven Offline


Registered: 07/29/13
Posts: 261
I just wish i wouldnt have to relive everything over and over again all the time. As if when it actually happens isnt bad enough, but then i can atleast 'dissociate'.
But even now, sitting in bed, alone, with this laptop but it feels as if it's happening right now. I can feel it, even smell it sometimes. Other times it's more like flashbacks. And god those nightmares.. Even if i sleep 8 or 9 hours, i still feel tired if i have had a nightmare.
I just don't seem to be able to handle these things as well as before anymore, even though nothing really changed that much.
_________________________
In the howling wind
Comes a stinging rain
See it driving nails
Into souls on the tree of pain
From the firefly a red orange glow
See the face of fear
Running scared in the valley below
~ Bullet The Blue Sky - U2

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#447382 - 09/16/13 06:29 PM Re: Everything going to hell *triggers* [Re: Sven]
newground Offline
Chatroom Moderator
MaleSurvivor
Registered: 10/11/11
Posts: 748
Loc: michigan
things have changed a great deal man. You found the courage to tell us here. and I hope that soon you will find a way to tell in real life too. they have no right to hurt you. no right to make you feel like less. you are NOT that. you are strong, you are brave.this secret is not yours alone now I know that the thought of telling is terrifying and there may be no way just now but I hope soon it will happen for you. they deserve to be punished and you deserve to be free from them. I hope this doesn't trigger or frustrate you but just know you are worthy of a good and healthy life.
heal well
jeff
_________________________
Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell's heart I stab at thee; for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee. let me then tow to pieces, while still chasing thee, thou damned whale! Thus, I give up the spear!"
Herman Melville

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#447407 - 09/16/13 10:28 PM Re: Everything going to hell *triggers* [Re: Sven]
justplainme Offline


Registered: 09/01/09
Posts: 270
Don't be afraid of change my friend, you're being preyed on like a piece of flesh..
Call the authorities and let those who have broken the scared bonds of humanity pay for their crimes.
You are much more than a victim of your circumstances.
Please do something bout this..for both your sake and your future.
I will pray for you.
_________________________

"Survivors need an opportunity to define their own sexuality in their own terms, rather than in reaction to the abuse, so that they stop allowing their offenders to have power over them sexually."

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#447473 - 09/17/13 03:21 PM Re: Everything going to hell *triggers* [Re: Sven]
Jude Offline


Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1478
Loc: New England
Sven,

I pray that you will find the means and the courage to move yourself out of reach of both your father and B. You can be sure that they will not change. You must not allow them any more opportunities to abuse you. This has gone on for far too long and the only one who can stop this cycle is you.

Please consider contacting the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN). They have a 24 hour chat support line on their website http://www.rainn.org/, and a toll-free number for phone calls 1-800656-HOPE (4673). They will be able to connect you to resources in your community that can help you find some options for change. Please don't delay. We are rooting for you.

Jude
_________________________
"But now old friends are acting strange,
they shake their heads, they say I've changed.
Something's lost but something's gained in living every day
....it's life's illusions I recall, I really don't know life at all. "
Joni Mitchell

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#447488 - 09/17/13 07:50 PM Re: Everything going to hell *triggers* [Re: Sven]
genedebs Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 11/09/12
Posts: 283
Loc: MO
Dear Sven, (TRIGGER)

You were sexually assaulted by your father and raped by B's friend.
B was an accomplise to "gang rape" and so is guilty of rape just like his friend even though you consented to B's blow job.

I absolutely agree with Jude. This is not an "I might as well accept it" situation.

If it were someone else, and you were looking at it objectively, it would be sex trafficking. And you are the individual who has sold Sven.

And for what, room and board? Please get out and get help.

You have a right to basic human dignity, even if you do not realize you have a right to your own body. There are people in this world who can and will help, most of them will not even make pray and listen to lectures.

Please, even if there are other reasons that you need your father or B, get out of there you can always go back for an hour or two, but GET OUT!

If you are so guilt tripped by your father, B, or anyone else, you are not helping them. You are teaching them that they can get away with felonies with impunity. You are enabling them to get their needs met without the slightest acknowledgement of even your right to breathe air!

We all have different stories and we all are just the same.



Edited by genedebs (09/17/13 08:00 PM)
Edit Reason: To get Sven's quote

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