It does give hope to see that you aren't alone. There are nearly 12,000 guys here who you can learn from, and will understand what you think and feel when you are ready to put it all to words.
Take your time. The is no schedule to recovery. It happens when you are ready to let it happen. Be good to yourself.
"In the burning Heart, Just about to burst
There's a quest for answers, An unquenchable thirst
In the darkest night, Rising like a spire
In the burning heart, The unmistakable fire"Survivor