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#229329 - 06/06/08 06:49 PM Re: Penis Fixation ** Possible Triggers [Re: SpiritRisingMan]
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
hi guys, as i have come to embrace myself sexually, [uhumm!? in theory i mean...] and my orientation, my interest in all things male deepens and widens. when i was in my dysfunctional stage of my orientation i felt guilty and dirty about my attraction. but now, since i have begun to celebrate my gift of orientation, i no longer try to convince myself that 'there must be something about women that i could find attractive', ie. make want to have sex with them and thereby qualify among the ranks of male-worthy-ness. and the most awesome thing in the whole evolutionary process, is that as i embrace myself more fully, my joy in other males become less an objectification of them, and the same thing happens for females as well! i no longer tend to see them as barbie dolls, important only for their plasticity and blondness, and babymaking function. as i get healthier, i notice that people are just people, not penises and boobs/vaginas and all the cultural implications therein.
i have even come to believe that given the opportunity, i could actually sustain a functional relationship! now how do you like them apples? peace, ron

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


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#229331 - 06/06/08 06:58 PM Re: Penis Fixation ** Possible Triggers [Re: Sans Logos]
Freedom49 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 12/30/07
Posts: 2723
Loc: Washington State
I like them apples a lot Sans. I think this is progress and time we can dump the objectifacation and begin to see people as people. Congratulation.


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#324473 - 03/08/10 04:51 PM Re: Penis Fixation ** Possible Triggers [Re: Freedom49]
Fratguy88 Offline


Registered: 03/01/10
Posts: 4
I too believe I have a fixation and experience many of the symptoms other guys have said they felt. I want to see what other guys have and I want what I have to be seen. My penis is my favorite part of my body. I get erect I think because I want to show off and compare but not to interact with the guy. I feel safe showing my genitals to straight guys because I know they won't touch me. I'll show anyone online because they can't touch me. I've tried the gay world but it wasn't for me I just like to look, show, and compare. With the friends who I've shown and have shown me I feel closer with them as I showed them something of great importance to me and he did the same. I feel like it's a bonding experience without getting sexual. I'm not grossed out by genitals and if someone wants to show them off I have no problem looking.


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#327592 - 04/06/10 11:17 PM Re: Penis Fixation ** Possible Triggers [Re: Ken Singer, LCSW]
roco Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 01/28/10
Posts: 3
Loc: Maryland
Thanks Ken. I understand your explanations about penis fixation. For me I was abuse by my cousin and he had a large penis compared to me at age 9. I was afraid and feared him but I also got aroused. I was so confused because I felt guilty. He pulled my pants down and I wanted to run away but he told me he would tell. He constantly sought me out and I always tried to avoid him but he was a lot older and baby sat me and my younger bother. He made me sleep in the same bed and he would brush his erect penis on my butt. I would just close my eyes and pretend I was asleep. Today, I look at gay porn and fixated on erect penises. I also look at male-female porn and wish I was the hot guy f**kng a woman. I like his cock and how he had control and power. When I see a hot guy, I do'nt want to have sex but look at them naked. I had gay sex before, got aroused and ejaculated but felt dirty/shame after all the time. When I have sex with women it feels more comfortable and I enjoy it; however, after I feel guilty because I have sex with guys. Does she know? Do I send signals? Anyway, I have never been able to be satisfied sexually or in a relationship with guy or gal.


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#327869 - 04/09/10 07:42 PM Re: Penis Fixation ** Possible Triggers [Re: freemen]
pkincrisi Offline


Registered: 04/08/10
Posts: 96
Loc: Wisconsin
I can relate to the penis fixation. Every time I see a guy, my eyes automatically go to his penis. I hate it because I don't even look at him as a person. I just want to focus on that part of him and find fulfillment in it. I will look for more information from Ken because I need to understand what has happened to me and how I can move forward.

_________________________
Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson

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#327876 - 04/09/10 08:45 PM Re: Penis Fixation ** Possible Triggers [Re: pkincrisi]
Sans Logos Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor

Registered: 05/31/03
Posts: 5791
Loc: in my own world in pittsburgh,...
Brother i urge you to purchase kens book

Evicting the Perpetrator

you can get it from our amazon bookstore link on the main malesurvivor.org page

warm regards,

Ron

_________________________
  1. the past
  2. ReClaiming Now
  3. advocacy


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#361444 - 05/04/11 01:23 PM Re: Penis Fixation ** Possible Triggers [Re: freemen]
Sterling Offline


Registered: 10/25/08
Posts: 269
Loc: Winnipeg, Manitoba,Canada
I would be careful with what you take ,receive Anywhwere( freemen) ( Sorry I am lousy at grammar). There is alot
of opinions on here and where you live. Ask the professionals.

I dislosed to a guy , in the city where I live that i watchED
gay porn ( lots of it). He replied that I should just accept I am gay. It took months to take this out on the punching bag . I found this very abusive and unprofessional to say to me or to anyone. Be Careful!


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#361770 - 05/09/11 05:25 PM Re: Penis Fixation ** Possible Triggers [Re: SpiritRisingMan]
TW16 Offline
Member
MaleSurvivor


Registered: 06/11/09
Posts: 157
Loc: Utah
I too have had that problem with wanting to see other guy's penises. I had always been criticized about the size of mine, and so I wanted to compare; I wanted to know if what other people said about my size was true. I still have that problem, but not so much.

When I talked to somebody about my fixation on penises, they told me that it is because I am young and it is normal for guys to be curious.

TW16


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#362275 - 05/15/11 06:51 PM Re: Penis Fixation ** Possible Triggers [Re: TW16]
Sterling Offline


Registered: 10/25/08
Posts: 269
Loc: Winnipeg, Manitoba,Canada
I want to see a guys dink right ,,, No! I Don't . But if
a guy wants to check guys out.. go ahead! Who am I ? Another
person! All my life ,, allowing my dad to be what he wanted ..I PAYED FOR IT! Wondering who I was , so quiet. MY
relatives (then) would say " what is wrong with James?, ?"
I was just me,James. Then, I didn't like my name and they
my dad and his brother&sister-in-law did some really frightening things.Putting nail polish on my fingernails ,female clothing. Now I can understand why I am a virgin. Eat lots when I am down, and depressed. This is normal!
My dad's family ( NOT MINE), got away with Murder! They don't care. People are morons. My dad's thinking " ah, he is just a
kid! What do kids know?" APPARENTLY AND EVIDENTLY ALOT SHITHEAD! He didn't care. I hate it when i see kids. Really hate , why? I am scared , hoping they are not keeping any secrets. Hoping they are not frightened to death so they are not stunted at a very young age- and that we can't fight FOR THEM.! Since this (their innocense and Purity)has been robbed!
I don't give a fuck about my dad! Hmm, fucking asshole! How people have this in their thinking they can just kill children
ha, is beyond my challenge of trust in another person. Afterall
it can be a neighbour,anyone watching that noone is looking.
I AM OUT ! i WILL KILL,BY WRITING! THAT IS ME,YEARS AGO! WHEN I HAD TO SHUT-UP! TO SAVE DADDY AND SOME OTHERS! Thankyou,it
feels good to get this CRAP OUT!
James


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#362625 - 05/20/11 08:37 PM Re: Penis Fixation ** Possible Triggers [Re: Sterling]
Sterling Offline


Registered: 10/25/08
Posts: 269
Loc: Winnipeg, Manitoba,Canada
I dont have any where. I am angry at myself. One day,. Two days
,. threee. Hmm, Not over. I hate this SHIT! I am soo lonely.
I refuse to be gay. I like women. But i notice I am drawn to
women who are senitive and poite! I hate this. I have no where to go. Seriously. I hate the small stuff! I dont watch t.v.
I am trying to learn English from a different , place. I do not think That I want to be to nice.. when I think about my dad, his dad his mom...and so onnnnnnnnnn. I hate my life. I am glad I am still here. Lately I have been pondering to jump out of an airplane (w/ a parachute, of course). I just masturbated to male
and male porn. I found these two sites , and this other with a guy with a one man show. I am tired. I really am. I hate ,hate
him. Why can't they killl my dad 's brother? Why? I vent in my
head. I am tired of being Judicious. I am not special. I just want to go home. Never feels okay. I have thinking of moving to another city. I need to just cut my thoughts on buying this and that. I am tired. I feel like a woman. or unsure. I dont have a penis. I feel so scared in the shower. I never liked me! I was never to ever think. I nevr knew me. I hate it that i have nowehre to turn. My dad is nervous... really? Yeah.! That he tooo can be wanting to die! " Why do you say these things?"

BEcause they told me. If i ever tell anyone they will find me or kill me and the other scary stuff. See I never had a place to call home. I started to .,, maybe 1974 - the year i was born But
she beat me up.. "Who? " my dad's sister-in-law. I will never call her Auntie. she is sick. I dont use nice words toward my mum.. I mean shit to my dad's sister-in-law. I didnt like her. She kept telling me sick stuff , such ss; you are goin to hell!
You dont like your mom. I could never understand this woman/ devil. I hate my dad's culture, my mother's I dont want to have anything to do with it. But since I feel like my dad took me away
from my mom since i was 6 months old,,, I dont want to talk to him. He , I dont know what is wrong with him. My dad's mother would always do these sick things to. Listen to your cousins they know more than you. I always grew inferior of these two. My brother no longer cared about me...I never was hannging out at my brother or dad's place. I just learned to go over to my dad's brother's place where they drexsed me as a girl , put nail polish on me and I would undress for them k, to entertain my dad's mom. IKK! Yukki. I have no friends because of this. I grew up confused about my sexuality. Not knowing " Are you a girl or a boy "my dad's sister-in-lawy would have alot of fun. I couldn't do anything ,, I could feel my dad... doing it right now.. but it isn'thim it is her,,her dad...my cousin ..and he teels me to not move.. OR ELSE! I wait till he is inside me.. I am scared Iand wheewe now it is today and I havenot grown.. 36 years old and not touching myself means i must not be a man. Who am I or what am i? I hated looking in the mirror all the way ,,only til recently i dont want to hang out .. I dont know what to tell people. I dont want to scare anyone.. Where do I go?
I want dont to feel bii her next to me! I loathe her and her dad. I feel I have been tricked and poisoned to thinkn i have to listen to her and her pedophole dad..over and over inmy fucking head. When does it go , away? One more day.. please tell me it will be only one more day. I want to be a BOY!, AND GROW INTO A MAN A GOOD,NICE MAN! THANKS JAMES, anytime.


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