sometimes… when i am feeling at my worse.
i hate life/god.
when i cannot find it in my heart to accept my fate,
i resent life/god.
when i suffer sudden setbacks,
i curse life/god. He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.1 JOHN 4
some days, i am just not feeling the love.
some days, the divine comedy does not make me laugh.
even though i am commanded, by moses, to do so… You must love Jehovah your God with all your heart and all your soul and all your strength. These words that I am commanding you today must be on your heart, and you must inculcate them in your sons and speak of them when you sit in your house and when you walk on the road and when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as a reminder on your hand, and they must be like a headband on your forehead. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.DEUTERONOMY 6
it is very difficult to love god sometimes.
at those times, all i have left is my fear of god.
that fear is the last barrier between me and chaos and death.
at that point, i must exercise my free will,
before i lose all inhibition and control.
i must resist temptation, rebuke anger, reject resentment,
and recommit to religion...
or reject god and revert to my previous personality. "Dost thou still retain thine integrity?
Curse God, and die."Book of Job
i fight my way back from that spiritual wasteland,
familiar but barren territory, it is a one~way dead~end i refuse to revisit.
i cannot retreat!
i resolve to rebuild my faith yet again from the foundation up.
that is when i need god and his love and his reproof more than ever.
i choose to embrace his grace.
i accept his authority.
i obey his orders.
i follow his fiats.
i defer to his discipline.
things immediately begin to improve.
it is like a science.
i get the exact same positive results every time without fail.
taking advice from the bible has only improved my life.
following christ and the word of god has never put me in a ditch.
the christ taught: Can the blind lead the blind? shall they not both fall into the ditch?
A student is not above his teacher, but everyone who is fully trained will be like his teacher. LUKE 6
my teacher is jesus.
he teaches me to love god. "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment."MARK 12
just as it is hard to see light in the shadow of pain.
but if you relax and give time to adjust, you can see,
even in the dimmest dark. Serve the Lord with fear, and rejoice with trembling.PSALM 2
i would rather not live in fear, but sometimes, that is all i have left.
if i am already afraid, i might as well be frightened of something worthy of my fear, like the creator of the universe.
"The first step toward enlightenment is disillusionment.
~ Mike Twohy